Please pray for the Fourth Global Congress on Sport and Christianity

Please pray for the 250+ men and women from around the world at the Fourth Global Congress on Sport and Christianity at Truett Seminary of Baylor University in Waco, Texas, USA.

It began on Thursday evening, July 31 and will continue through August 2. Over 170 presentations and panel discussions, plus several plenary sessions will challenge and encourage those in attendance.

https://truettseminary.baylor.edu/programs-centers/faith-sports-institute/global-congress-sport-and-christianity

There are remarkable things happening around the world at the intersection of Christian faith and sport. I will report on the event after it is concluded. Please plan to join us at the Fifth Congress in 2028. More details to follow soon.

More Reflections from the Front Lines of a Cancer Battle - Week Four as a Widower.

Week Four as a Widower.

Formerly, I had to work hard, schedule well, and plan wisely to achieve some solitude. Now, retired and widowed, solitude surrounds me, all day and all night.

I, the incurable and unapologetic extrovert, find myself alone…. a lot. In crowds, alone. At church, alone. Waking up in my bed, absolutely alone.

I am not as emotional about my loss as I was a few weeks ago. I am more emotionally numb than anything at this point. I have enough tasks to keep me busy presently, but I know after the sale of the house is closed, the banking is completed, and I return from the Congress in Texas, a lot of open space and unoccupied time awaits me. That is worrisome.

I have a number of people with whom I correspond daily. I send one set of folks battling disease scripture and prayer. Another few receive a daily prompt for devotional reading. Dozens of sports chaplains across Latin America receive a link to each day’s post of my devotional book in Spanish, which they in turn share with many others. These daily connections help me stay in the scripture, and sharing with others, even as my flesh would rather withdraw completely.

Years ago, Sharon and I joked that if she was to precede me in death, I would either die an old widower or be remarried in six months. She said, “You’d be remarried right away; you’d be helpless alone.” She may be right about the helpless part.

Reflections from the Front Lines of a Cancer Battle

My wife’s cancer battle consumed the first six months of 2025. It ultimately ended her life on earth, much too soon, and much too painfully. Throughout those months, I was alternately locked in the battle and trying to maintain an equilibrium to our lifestyle. As the weeks, appointments with doctors, treatments, emergency room visits, surgeries, and sleepless nights mounted, I became reflective and tried to make sense of what I was experiencing.

Writing reflections in the notes app of my mobile phone became a helpful way of processing all my heart and mind were experiencing. Below are a few of those reflections. They are raw, vulnerable, and gut-level honest. I certainly have a long way to go in my grieving and mourning process.

Inadequate and Distracted – April 2025

How can I, a man who prides himself on self-reliance, achievement, and strength, be so utterly inadequate and easily distracted? 

Walking with my wife through cancer treatments, weakness, and incapacity, has exposed many more of my personal weaknesses and character flaws. 

The added grief of losing family and friends to death compounds these matters. 

 How shall I deal with all this? I have no other recourse than to trust wholly in the grace and mercy of Christ Jesus - His power to save to the uttermost. That’s all I have. 

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

Is this really my life? – early May 2025

As these days of life in and around a hospital have stretched on, I have wondered, “Is this really my life?” It seemed like I was observing someone else. 

Scenes like these, hotel room doors and hospital corridors, assure me this is my present reality and keep me grounded in the moment. 

Intimacy – mid May 2025

Intimacy at fifty weeks into a dating relationship is significantly different than intimacy after fifty years of marriage. 

The former is clumsy, hormonal, and exciting, finding ways to be together, aching to touch the other, and longing to be trusted. 

The latter is more sober, more familiar, and fully trusting, caring for an ailing spouse, preserving her dignity, and affirming commitment for life.

Reflections from a hospital room – early June 2025

Stage four metastatic peritoneal cancer is hellish. It has stripped my bride of her energy, ravaged her body, and destroyed her confidence. Despair stands outside the hospital door waiting to strangle her soul. 

Being my wife’s primary caregiver has alternately strained and strengthened our relationship. She needs me more than ever. She frustrates me because I see the consequences of momentary choices (like not eating) very clearly. 

Lifting her into and out of bed, the bathroom, a wheelchair, and more has become a well-rehearsed dance. More like an awkward, junior high, slow dance to “Nights in White Satin” than like disco or swing dancing. 

The anticipated highlight of our upcoming fiftieth wedding anniversary is chemotherapy treatment and possibly some frozen custard afterwards. 

Removing her clothes was much more fun fifty years ago than it is now. It’s still powerfully intimate, but in an infinitely more severe way. 

My natural bent toward optimism is being powerfully tested in these days. Trying to stay afloat in this waxing and waning tide of confusing medical information, twice daily dispensation of medications, nightly flushing of her pic line, sleeplessness, frustration with a painfully slow process, and the insidious whispering prospect of being widowed is squeezing my soul. 

Through all of this, I remain committed to love and to serve my wife; charging the fiery gates of hell in a gasoline suit while armed with a squirt gun. I am here for all of it. 

Reflections after one week as a widower – July 2025

From March 7 through June 27, my life was almost entirely consumed by Sharon’s battle with metastatic peritoneal carcinoma and my care for her. I immediately withdrew from most all my work, ministry, and recreational pursuits. I was granted a leave of absence (graciously with pay) by my employer, and we eventually agreed I would retire at the end of May. 

The sixteen weeks we anticipated would be given to chemotherapy treatments and recovery, along with a surgery and more recovery, turned into a swirling vortex of delays, infection, hospitalization, removal of an infected chemo port, confusion, open-heart surgery, recovery, five weeks of thrice daily antibiotic infusions, the sale of our home, a move to a neighboring state, restarting chemotherapy, precipitous weight loss, weakness, shortness of breath, fluid drainage, steadily dropping blood pressure and declining vital signs.  This torturous process finally took her life as she was lying in our bed, at home, surrounded by family. 

My role as full-time caregiver was full of frustration with the situation, occasional irritation at Sharon’s lack of appetite, disgust with my own lack of compassion, anticipation of the worst case scenario while advocating for the best case, questions about medical bills, insurance coverage, concern for family members, and communication with a broad network of family, friends, and ministry colleagues. 

Since my wife’s cancer diagnosis five and one-half months ago, I have been grieving. Firstly, I grieved the horror of the disease and its terrible effects upon my bride. Secondly, I grieved the way it was causing her to suffer in increasingly more severe ways. Ultimately, I began to grieve her impending death as we started hospice care, and then her passing three days later.

Now, grief has new dimensions as it includes loneliness, disorientation, and questions about the future. 

Occasionally, something will happen, and I will reflexively pick up my phone to send her a text message about it. As I work to understand our finances and obligations, my first instinct is to ask her for a password or a person to call. She is not here to answer. 

My daughter-in-law helped me go through her jewelry, her clothes, and accessories. We made personal gifts of some items, we gave away fifteen bags of clothing and shoes and discarded several other items. That was painful, emotional, and extremely helpful. 

My immersion into our personal finances has been tedious, pleasantly surprising, and liberating. Our situation was better than I had imagined, but more complicated than I desire going forward. I have paid off a few small balances and shredded several credit cards. I am building a new budget as a retired widower, with an eye toward some strategic travel, and the potential launch of a ministry mentoring sports ministry leaders in 2026. 

Less than Three Weeks In… - July 2025

I am making adjustments daily. I am trying to set a new daily regimen and to restore some order to my lifestyle. It took six months to wreck my sleep patterns; it may take some time to restore a healthy rhythm. I am getting a handle on finances and am about to close on the sale of our home in Carbondale. That will result in a strong boost to my savings and some measure of financial security.

I am not sure what to do with the loneliness that stalks my quiet hours. I trust my Comforter will be even more tangibly present as I mourn my wife’s departure, and as I contemplate a future in fulfilling our Lord’s purposes for my life.

My 69th birthday is rapidly approaching.

The past six months have been among the most challenging of my lifetime. My wife, Sharon's illness and its accompanying complications have made us deal with hard issues, but have also deepened our commitment to and love for each other.

I see my calling and responsibilities more clearly than ever. I remain committed to the completion of God’s purposes in my life.

I see retirement, no longer on the horizon, but as a present day reality. I see it not as a cessation from work, but as a new gear for productive engagement of God’s purposes.

Six months ago, I had no real interest in retiring. I was always prepared to travel and to serve, anywhere at any time. Sharon’s health challenges led me to understand she needs me more than I need to work. This is a responsibility in which I must not fail.

I see my son approaching fifty years of age with sheer delight in his maturity, his marriage, in his parenthood, and his personal devotion to Christ.

I see the rapid, amazing development of my beloved granddaughters. I want to be involved in as much of their lives as possible. These opportunities are too soon gone forever.

Today, less than one week into my retirement, I am a full-time caregiver for my bride of almost fifty years. I will remain so until her condition improves to allow more independence.

This season of cancer treatment, surgeries, and more will continue through the autumn months, at least. I will pop my head up again in January of 2026 to see where I may be of service to the sports ministry community in the future.

My assertion of many years, that one’s identity is not wrapped in his performance, his work, or even his ministry is about to be tested, in my own heart and mind.

Please pray for us as we navigate this turbulent season of life. Conditions change daily, but we are persevering. Thanks.

Retirement announcement

On 30 May, I will officially retire from my service as Character Coach Director for Nations of Coaches (https://nationsofcoaches.com/), a ministry to college basketball in the USA.

The health challenges my wife, Sharon, is experiencing have led to this somewhat abrupt change. At this point in our soon to be 50-years of marriage, she needs me more than I need to work.

The spring and summer months will reveal how strongly she will recover and that will determine if and when I can resume some level of ministry. She is my highest priority.

I am contemplating making myself available to sports ministry leaders for mentorship, coaching, and consulting. I will provide more details as they become available.

In the short term, I am available for chats via telephone or Zoom, if I can be of service to you. Sharon and I are moving from our home in Carbondale, Illinois to an apartment near our son’s family in Southeast Missouri.

I plan to continue to produce content via blog posts, Bible studies, video, and more. Thanks for your invaluable partnership.

Book Recommendations - History and Christian Living

 For the next several posts in this series, I will be making some book recommendations in various categories. The lists will neither be exhaustive nor full scale endorsements of everything in each one. I generally read to learn (not to be entertained) and welcome points of view from a broad perspective. 

The books mentioned will categorized this way: 

• Biographies
• Favorite authors
• Sport
• Theology
• Coaching
• Leadership
• Psychology
• Business Management
• History
• Christian Living

History - 

The Spirit of the Game: American Christianity and Big Time Sports by Dr. Paul Putz - In this book Paul Putz has done a tremendous job of chronicling how elite level sport and the Christian faith have intersected, intertwined, collided, and conflicted across more than a century. I learned things about the organization that had employed me for twenty-seven years I had never heard before. Paul's clear eyed vision of the good, the bad, and the ugly of these situations and personalities is always fair and candid. I highly recommend reading this book to anyone involved in sports ministry, particularly in the USA.

Foxe's Book of Martyrs by John Foxe - I first read this book many years ago, but failed to grasp its importance. I read it again just over a year ago with a clearer vision and an understanding that I have family mentioned in its pages. The price paid by many of our Christian forebears to remain faithful to their Lord and to personal convictions is displayed here in graphic detail. If you're willing to plow through the torture, beheading, and burning at the stake, there are inspiring stories in this volume.

Christian Living - 

The Jesus I Never Knew by Phillip Yancey - I remember reading this book in the fall of 1995 during football road trips. I would immerse myself in two chapters per trip, reading those chapters two to four times each. This greatly broadened my view of how the Church in scattered corners of the planet view the Savior. My small town, Southern Illinois, protestant view of Caucasian Jesus was challenged on every page. For that I am very grateful. 

The Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll - I read this book in the late 1980s and it was very liberating. To that point, I was easily condemned by legalistic thoughts and teaching. This excellent, easy read brought freedom and ease to my easily condemned conscience. The writing is engaging and the grace communicated is liberating. Give this one a leisurely read.

The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan - This classic book is allegory, a genre very foreign to me, and is a great investment of time and imagination. This Puritan author spins a tale of remarkable characters and fanciful locations. It's available in two different English language versions: one in the original English from the 1500s, and an updated English version (much easier to read). The former will enrich and challenge your vocabulary, the latter is more quickly read. Both versions are a rich and encouraging story of the Pilgrim's Progress.

On Living Well by Eugene Peterson - This is a collection of some of Peterson's brief and pastoral writings. It is encouraging and inspirational. I love all of his books, but this one stands out as being like a series of personal letters to the reader. 

Book Recommendations - Psychology and Business Management

 For the next several posts in this series, I will be making some book recommendations in various categories. The lists will neither be exhaustive nor full scale endorsements of everything in each one. I generally read to learn (not to be entertained) and welcome points of view from a broad perspective. 

The books mentioned will categorized this way: 

• Biographies
• Favorite authors
• Sport
• Theology
• Coaching
• Leadership
• Psychology
• Business Management
• History
• Christian Living

Psychology - 

Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck - This book is outstanding! It makes the science and research of neuroplasticity and other very technical factor in how minds work and makes them very approachable for knuckleheads like me. In particular, her juxtaposition of "fixed mindset" and "growth mindset" is tremendously applicable to our work in sport. I highly recommend this book.

The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey - This book was recommended to me by a college basketball coach. I immediately bought it to better understand his mindset and his approach to the mental side of sport. It is certainly not a Christian book and it's full of references to other religions, but it is valuable for understanding how many elite level competitors are approaching their mental approach to their sports.

Business Management - 

The Starfish and The Spider - The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations by Ori Brafman and Rod. A Beckstrom - I read this book in 2007 and it has been transformational in how I serve in organizations, many of which operate more like networks than multi-level hierarchical organizations. Several of their insights have been invaluable to my connections with and facilitation of colleagues across the USA and around the world. This is a tremendous book.

Start with Why by Simon Sinek - This book has been most helpful in the process of maintaining my focus on what is most important, "keeping the main thing the main thing," and budgeting time, money, and other resources. Iti is well written, simply illustrated with excellent diagrams, and full of practical examples of the differences between, "What, How, and Why."

Good to Great by Jim Collins - I read this at least twenty-five years ago, and some of its major points still shape my approach to making decisions about opportunities. The concepts like, "flywheel and hedgehog" are strong metaphors that stick in our minds. Like most books based on research, the author wants to tell you more about his research than you want to hear, but the results are worth the time to plow through the information.

Linchpin by Seth Godin - Seth is a blogger on business and marketing. His writing is direct and simple. It's also very applicable to us who serve in ministry. In particular, his thoughts about making yourself indispensable to your organization are very insightful. His assertion that, "Writers write. So if you want to be a writer, write something. Put it out there," (paraphrased from memory) has been a challenge that I have accepted and often challenge others to accept.