When is it Time to Withdraw?

When is it time to withdraw? How does one know when it’s the right time to resign his or her role in serving sportspeople? This is likely the most painful part of our tenure of service because of the tearing it does at the fabric of our hearts. When we serve relationally, the loss of relationship hurts, and we feel the loss very personally. A USA colleague of mine was recently released from his role with a prominent university and it was very painful to him. He is seeking his next station of service, and I am certain he will land on his feet, but neither his, my, your, nor my opportunities last forever.

Below are some thoughts about factors that may make it time to withdraw from your service as a sports chaplain, character coach, or sports mentor.

·        When your opportunity evaporates. Whether due to coaching changes, management or administration decisions, or other factors, it’s pretty common that one’s opportunity to serve a team or club could simply evaporate. This has happened to me at least twice over the years. In each case I approached the new coaching staff properly, offered to serve, but the offer was declined. Suddenly the opportunity was gone. It was time to seek new opportunity, and it has appeared each time.

·        When you lose your passion for the people and the process. The moment that I find that I am more annoyed with the people of a particular team than I am energized by them, it will be time to leave this role to another person. When I begin to dread visits to the practice field, the court, the pool, the track, or the ballpark, it will be time to get out. When I can no longer handle long bus rides, hours at practices, the alternating elation of victory and crushing pain of loss, it will be time to leave.

·        When you sense God’s calling to some other avenue of service. It is altogether proper for one to serve in various ways, in differing capacities, with different communities across his or her lifetime. There are certainly seasons to sports culture, and there are seasons to one’s service of Christ. Observe Jesus’ ministry in the Gospels. His areas of service varied widely as the geography changed and the people groups he encountered changed. His did not hang out at Jacob’s well throughout his ministry, just during John chapter 4. He was in Galilee for a season, in Jerusalem frequently, east of the Jordan on occasion, and even venturing through Samaria. We may find the Lord leading our hearts to a new station in our service. If so, seek a way to transition wisely, leaving this opportunity to another who is called to serve.

·        When you can no longer fulfill the role’s demands. There will probably be a day when your body will no longer be able to handle the physical rigors that come with your role as a sports chaplain. The way I have chosen to serve requires a good deal of energy, walking, standing, and long periods of concentration. My way of serving is very physically demanding and at sixty-one years of age, I can still do it. What about at age seventy? What about beyond that? If I cannot change how I serve, and I can no longer meet the physical demands, it may be time to withdraw.

These are just a few of the factors that may inform our hearts that it is time to leave this avenue of service to another. I would ask you, as I ask myself, to evaluate your service at the conclusion of each season, to look forward to the next one, and to either commit completely to serving with abandon, or to wisely withdraw, enabling another to serve in your place. 

The Apostle Paul challenges us at Ephesians 4:1 with these words, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called…” I would echo his challenge by asking you to serve the people of sport with passion, energy, wisdom, and full commitment. That is service worthy of the calling with which we were called. Anything less is not worthy of Christ Jesus. When I can no longer do that, I will gladly walk away.

Restore

Restore. According to the dictionary, to restore is: re·store – to bring back (a previous right, practice, custom, or situation); reinstate.

To return (someone or something) to a former condition, place, or position. What is there about you that needs to be restored? What about you is broken and needs to be returned to a former condition, place, or position?

Across twenty-three years of serving in this role, I have been occasionally broken in various ways. I am often in need of restoration. Relationships get strained and need to be restored, more often than we would like. At sixty-one years of age, I need some occasional physical restoration. I find that my attitude is often a little sideways and needs restoration. How I think about particular issues, people, or groups often needs to be restored.

Regardless of the nature or the degree of your brokenness, find a way to be restored. There are certainly a number of ways to be restored, and I have listed some of the ways I have found to be most effective. These are often a little radical, but they are also very effective.

1.   Rest. Brokenness and pain is often the result of fatigue, sleep deprivation, and the loss of margin in our lives. Take some time off, rest, and be restored.

2.   Repent. Some of our brokenness is simply due to willful sin and foolish patterns of lifestyle. Repent. Change direction. Stop it. Be restored.

3.   Confess. Agree with God, and with trusted friends, that your brokenness is sin, and receive God’s forgiveness. Read I John 1:9 again, and again. Be restored.

4.   Ask forgiveness. The path to restoring relationships is to ask forgiveness and to extend it to others. Find a way to express your heart, bury your pride, and be restored.

5.   Resign. My brokenness is often because I’m overcommitted and serving outside my giftedness and calling. Yours could be as well. Resign from such roles and be restored.

6.   Refocus. As our brokenness dissipates and our vision clears, we are better able to focus on our calling from God, our giftedness, our strengths and weaknesses. This process of restoration enables us to refocus on wise and God-honoring goals. Refocus and be restored.

These ideas may seem really simple, and they are. Broken people don’t need complexity, they need a simple plan to be restored. Please take the time to appropriate one or more of these strategies and be restored. Those who care about you, those who work with you, those whom you serve; we all need you at your best. Restore.

Refuel

Refuel. It’s likely that you are occasionally feeling that you are out of gas. You seem to be running on empty. Your normal passion and energy seems to be in short supply, but you press on anyway because people are counting on you. You need to refuel. How? What does that for us?

In twenty-three years of serving people in sport, I have had a few occasions like that. In most cases it was due to being overly busy, distracted with unproductive tasks, and losing touch with my “Why.” In his excellent book, Start with Why, Simon Sinek challenges leaders to operate from their “Why,” the central reason they do what they do. The people we lead, the people we serve, those with whom we serve certainly experience “What” we do. They also perceive “How” we do it, but how clearly do we communicate the “Why” that is central to the whole process? The “Why” provides passion, purpose, and long-term direction for our service. Sinek calls this the golden circle, as illustrated here.

What we do, serving the men and women of sport in the name of Christ Jesus, is certainly shaped by How we do it, with humility, respect, compassion, understanding, and other important values, but if our service is not connected with a clearly defined Why, it will probably not endure for long and will likely wander from a wise and productive path.

If you are running on empty, take some time to contemplate on the Why of your ministry. Why do you do this? For the paycheck? I hope not, as most of us are volunteers. Why then? To apprehend this idea, to write it down, to distill it into an easily expressed sentence, can be a key part of refueling your passions, your energy, and your impact. I recommend the reading of Start with Why, as Sinek’s explanation and examples of those who do this very well. Refuel.

Refresh

Refresh. During a recent FCA Camp for collegiate student-athletes, I was privileged to facilitate a group for the FCA Chaplains and FCA Campus Ministry Directors who brought the athletes to camp. Rather than have these adults lead the groups for the collegiate athletes, the camp director asked me to lead this group so as to refresh them. I was thrilled to have this privilege for the second consecutive year.

In one of our small group discussions, we chatted about how their souls are refreshed. We all have our souls worn down by busyness, urgency, disappointment, demands, and the more draining aspects of ministry in sport, but what refreshes your soul? Let’s consider what it is to be refreshed and how we may experience that regularly.

Dictionary definition:

Refresh - verb (used with an object)

• to provide new vigor and energy by rest, food, etc. (often used reflexively).

• to stimulate (the memory).

• to make fresh again; reinvigorate or cheer (a person, the mind, spirits, etc.).

• to freshen in appearance, color, etc., as by a restorative.

Think for a minute about the people, moments, foods, drinks, books, movies, music, and places that refresh your soul. Go get some of that, soon.

The Apostle Paul wrote about how his friend, Philemon, refreshed the souls of people in Colossae at Philemon verses 4-7. “I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers,5 because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints; 6 and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake. For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.”

Philemon verses 4-7.

Ø The prayers of your mentor. Do the prayers of your mentor(s), and the mention of them in a letter refresh your soul as they surely did Philemon’s?

Ø Love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and all the saints. Does the development of these matters refresh your soul?

Ø Growing understanding of all we have in Christ. Do you find refreshment in sharing your faith as Paul told Philemon to expect it?

Ø Joy and comfort from love. Do you provide joy and comfort to your friends, mentors, and colleagues? If so, you are refreshing their souls.

Ø Refreshing the hearts of the saints. Philemon did this, do you? Who provides that sort of refreshment for your soul? Get some time with them.

You may have thought of refreshing places, foods, drinks, situations, or other things. I hope you also thought of refreshing people, groups, and occasions. Expect your heart to be refreshed by nurturing relationships with mentors, with peers, and with those whom you serve. Therein is new vigor and energy. They will stimulate and refresh your memory as to God’s faithfulness and goodness. They will reinvigorate and cheer your mind and your soul. They may even freshen your appearance, your color, and act as a restorative to your whole countenance. Refresh.

Read.

Read. Please, pick up a book and read it. We, as a people group, are not the most literary people in Christendom. Most of us are big on “go and do” and not so big on “read and think.” I would like to challenge you to read more. It helps to have a plan, and I am pleased to share with you the sorts of books I read and why I read them. I find them to greatly enhance my service of Christ Jesus in sport, my life as a man, son, husband, father, and grandfather.

1. Read your Bible. (Duh.) “The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.” Psalm 119:130 Your Bible will neither give understanding nor light unless you unfold its pages to read. I recommend a simple devotional reading plan, supplemented by more intensive study. I also recommend reading from various translations to keep things fresh and to gather insights from different translators. I particularly enjoy reading The Message translation devotionally.

2. Theology and Christian Living books. There is wisdom and insight to be gathered from these books; get some. I owe a debt I can never repay to the friends I made in my twenties as they introduced me to C. S. Lewis, Francis Schaeffer, Oswald Chambers, John Stott, Brother Lawrence, and other good authors. Later in my adulthood I began reading authors like Phillip Yancey, Eugene Peterson, Os Guinness, G. K. Chesterton, and others. Regardless of your level of scholarship, you and I both stand to learn from these authors.

3. Psychology books. These books help us to think differently. They help us to understand people and why they do what they do. Just recently I read, Deep Work and found it to be remarkably helpful to my own thinking and personal disciplines. Other books (decidedly non-academic) like Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, Mindset by Carol Dweck, and Soul Keeping by John Ortberg (read last weekend), and several books by Malcolm Gladwell have also been very insightful. My mentor says, “Psychology is a good tool, but a terrible god.” Keeping this in mind brings perspective to my reading of psychology books.

4. Sports biography books. These books allow us inside the lives, minds, and hearts of people in the sporting world. Often, these are very insightful and occasionally quite painful to read. Among the best I have read are: The Man Watching by Anson Dorrance, Open by Andre Aggasi, Leading by Sir Alex Ferguson, and several by John Feinstein (not all are biographies, but all are helpful). This is especially true for those of us who find our service of sportspeople a little cross cultural. If you did not grow up as a competitive athlete, you may find the people you serve quite odd. These books can unlock their mentality for you.

5. Leadership books. Whether they want to be or not, sportspeople are leaders. Coaches want to be leaders, but they often don’t know how. To read leadership wisdom equips you to serve them well and loads your mind with a bank of knowledge they can access. We are leaders by our very nature. Let’s sharpen our leadership swords with some good reading. I suggest these as a starting point: Heroic Leadership by Chris Lowney, Leaders Who Last by Dave Kraft, Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels, Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders, and Legacy by James Kerr. “We are all leading, and we’re leading all the time. The question is whether we are doing it well or poorly,” is a quote from Chris Lowney’s Heroic Leadership and it is directly on point. 

6. History books. It is of tremendous help to anyone serving Christ to understand the context in which he or she is serving. Reading the history of a team, a club, a community, a region, a nation, a continent, or the entire planet is key to understanding the people and how they view their world. This sort of reading has been transformation to my service when I travel abroad. Reading books on Central American, Cuban, Ukrainian, and Eurasian history were profoundly helpful to the development of ministry in those regions.

7. Culture. These books are of great value as one seeks to ride the stormy waves of societal change. Over this weekend I will turn sixty-one years of age. It would be so very easy to retreat to the culture of the 1970s and to become the curmudgeonly old dude, but I refuse. To have any grasp of societal and cultural changes I must read about it. Books like Millenials, Hillbilly Elegy, Outliers, Soul Tsumami, A Cup of Coffee at the Soul Food Café, and others have transformational to how I approach cultural matters.

8. Business Management. If you think strategically or analytically, the authors of these books have something to say to you. Among my favorite authors in this genre are: Simon Sinek, Seth Godin, and Jim Collins. Some of my favorite titles are: The Starfish and the Spider, Good to Great, Great by Choice, Originals (read in April), and others.

Do yourself a favor, read a book. Do those you serve a favor, read a book. Whether you do it old school via paper and ink, or on your portable electronic device (I read on both), read a book. Commit to learning for a lifetime. For what it’s worth, I read faster and with greater comprehension at 60 than I ever did at 20, 30, or 40. 

By reading good authors, we welcome mentors into our lives from across the centuries. I regularly receive counsel from John Stott, Francis Schaeffer, C. S. Lewis, Oswald Chambers, Brother Lawrence, and other brilliant men of God who have passed from the earth years, decades, or centuries ago. Read.

Rest

Rest. For many of us it is a mysterious, confusing idea. For others it is as elusive as a unicorn. For others it is something we have trouble embracing as our compulsion to work drives us to work more hours, more days, and to leave vacation days unused. Rest. It’s important. It’s imperative. It’s a commandment of God.

A few years ago during an FCA Sports Chaplains conference, a speaker verbally punched me in the nose. He said that, morally speaking, to fail to Sabbath is equivalent to committing murder. Each is a violation of one of God’s ten commandments. Ouch. I was immediately deeply convicted. I had to confess and repent of my ridiculously consuming work schedule that had far too little margin for rest. While still sitting in the auditorium, I opened the calendar in my phone and blocked open every Sunday with a long green bar titled, “Sabbath.”

The commandment is stated rather simply, “Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Work six days and do everything you need to do. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to God, your God. Don’t do any work—not you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your servant, nor your maid, nor your animals, not even the foreign guest visiting in your town. For in six days God made Heaven, Earth, and sea, and everything in them; he rested on the seventh day. Therefore God blessed the Sabbath day; he set it apart as a holy day.” Exodus 20:8-11 MSG

Before you lose your mind about legalism, Sunday vs. Saturday Sabbath, and more, take a breath. Focus on the second sentence, “Work six days and do everything you need to do.” The Lord God rested 1/7 of creation week, who are you to think you should not? Sabbath is blessed by God. Sabbath is set apart for God’s special use. Sabbath is good for you. Remember Jesus’ words about the Sabbath? “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”

You’re probably thinking, “Yeah, but you don’t know how much I have to do.” That’s exactly how I tend to rationalize my failure to Sabbath, to rest. The problem is that when we fail to rest, we remove most of the margin in our lives that allows us to think clearly, to spend time with family, to enjoy life, and to experience God at an unhurried pace.

You’re probably thinking, “How am I supposed to do this?” This is the most difficult part of the process, beyond the simple decision to do it. For me, it was a simple choice to schedule for Sabbath. I set a recurring appointment for all day Sunday, each week, forever. However, life is seldom that simple. Sometimes my life requires that I work and/or travel on Sunday. When that occurs, I immediately schedule for rest in that same week on another day. It’s a matter of personal discipline. Rest restores your body, mind, and spirit.

Below are some simple ways to build rest into your weekly, monthly, and annual calendars:

·        Schedule a day weekly for rest. At least one. Most of us have a five day work week. Rest.

·        Schedule one day per month for quiet and contemplation. (Thank you John Stott for this idea.) Guard that day from busyness. Use it to read, to plan, to contemplate, to pray. Rest.

·        Schedule your vacation days well in advance and use every one of them. Urgency will pressure you to leave some unused, but if you plan well in advance you can maximize their effectiveness. Use every personal leave day you are allowed. Rest.

·        When you embark on your days or weeks of rest, maximize their benefit. Shut down your social media. Silence your phone. Surround yourself with people whom you love and who help you relax. Rest.

The Lord who created us knows how we function best. He says to rest 1/7 of our weeks, our months, our years. (We haven’t even opened a discussion of sabbatical years or years of jubilee.) Trust Him more than you trust your Protestant work ethic. Trust Him more than your obsession with your calendar. Trust Him more than your performance based identity. Trust Him and rest, as He did.

Chapels for Visiting Teams

This Sunday morning I will have an opportunity that I have been trying to apprehend for a number of months. I will lead a baseball chapel for the visiting team of Sunday’s college baseball game, the finale of the weekend series. I have prepared a handout for each player in attendance. It is identical to the one I’ll use for our team that same morning, except for the team specific information and photo. It contains an excerpt from my devotional book, Heart of a Champion, a prayer from, The Competitor’s Book of Prayer (adapted to baseball), and some contact information for me and for the new F.C.A. Director in the visiting team’s community. The handout is shown below.

This is very common in professional baseball as Baseball Chapel (http://www.baseballchapel.org) has the home team chapel leader to conduct chapels for both the home and the visiting teams. They are usually done consecutively in each team’s dugout or in another convenient area for the players. In years past I have arranged for chapel speakers for visiting college football teams. Either I would speak with them or I would arrange for a trusted friend and colleague to speak with the team. I have also done this with visiting women’s basketball teams when they come to our community to play our university’s team.

Many of our colleagues in other settings have done similarly, but I would urge you to consider the opportunities that may be at your hand. It took a few minutes to research the head coaches’ names and email addresses, and to then send an email offering to lead a chapel for their players. Of the four I emailed, two responded, and only one agreed to arrange a meeting room for his players. It may be that the simple arrangement of a chapel may spark interest in the visiting team’s players or their coaching staff for having a sports chaplain to serve their team. It could lead the players to investigate F.C.A. or another ministry on their campus. It could lead to some investigating the claims of Christ Jesus. It could simply be a moment of encouragement for a team battling toward the end of a disappointing season. I’ll aim to be faithful and will trust the Lord with the results.

Please consider taking a little time, a little risk, and the discomfort of walking into uncharted waters to serve selflessly and to love extravagantly.