There are a myriad of factors making for effectiveness in sports chaplaincy or character coaching. Among them are one's background, training, personality traits, spiritual giftedness, relationships, emotional intelligence, and more. I believe a short set of character traits are even more essential to effective service than any of the aforementioned qualities.
This list is not exhaustive, but I believe these six are most essential: Humility, Patience, Self-awareness, Perspective, Curiosity, and Persistence.
Humility is a quality quite uncommon among sportspeople. They are normally straddling the line between brazen arrogance and strong confidence. In such an environment one can join in the folly of seeking to be seen as first, or one can put himself in rank (the literal meaning of humility) and intentionally take the lower position. Though the supremely confident thumpers of their chests loudly project power and strength, they also respect the humble one who quietly serves.
Patience is a rather counterintuitive value in the sporting world. Most everything seems to be very urgent. When the sports chaplain is patient with people's failures, their inconsistencies, their human frailties, it is noticed and appreciated. Most everyone around them is harsh and demanding. When the character coach leads with patience, projects an attitude of, "I"m not in a hurry," the coaches and players appreciate it.
Self-awareness is the ability to know one's strengths and weaknesses, and to strongly embrace both. Sportspeople are fully aware of their strengths and focus on them almost exclusively. When they see someone equally owning his weaknesses as well as his strengths, they are not sure what to think at first, but soon demonstrate respect and trust for the self-aware sports chaplain. Such authenticity pierces hard hearts and awakens slumbering spirits.
Perspective is in short supply around sport's culture of winning at all costs. Coaches have less security than ever. Players in professional sport and now in many corners of collegiate sport measure their value, not just in wins and losses, but in dollars and cents. When a sports chaplain can help others see beyond the moment, the win or loss, the championship or relegation, the contract extension or the abrupt firing, he or she is sharing a rare character trait with those being served.
Curiosity may be the one quality in the list causing you to raise an eyebrow. About what should one be curious? Demonstrate curiosity about the people you serve. Curiously watch practices. Listen to how they communicate, observe their body language and gestures. Be curious about the sport itself. There is always something to be observed, to be learned, to be understood. Your curiosity will be interpreted as genuine interest and respect for their profession.
Persistence is of paramount importance because results are not usually quickly obtained. The urgency of sporting schedules, the frequency of training, practices, and competitions seem to squeeze the margins for time and attention for everyone involved. This can leave the sports chaplain or character coach feeling quite isolated, forgotten, or marginalized. Don't despair. Don't quit. Don't give up, ever. Persistence will keep the effective sports chaplain showing up at practice. It will prompt the character coach's heart to stay engaged, to ask good questions, to invite people to get coffee and a chat.
Humility, Patience, Self-awareness, Perspective, Curiosity, and Persistence will serve the Character Coach very well. They will empower the Sports Chaplain for effectiveness and significance in his or her ministry.
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