Soul Training - 7 Keys to Coaching the Faith of Elite Sportspeople - Part 8

 For the next number of weeks, I will be sharing excerpts from my new book, Soul Training - 7 Keys to Coaching the Faith of Elite Sportspeople. https://www.crosstrainingpublishing.com/shop/soul-training

Love extravagantly.

People of sport are often less than loveable. Much of the life of a coach, elite or professional athlete is less than lovely. Ministry with them often smells bad and sounds coarse. It requires extravagant love. It is not safe, is seldom convenient, and is certainly not normal. It is, however, extremely rewarding.

When one invests deeply, loves powerfully, and pays the price to care for the competitors and coaches, they respond in faith with the same passion they bring to sport. It is dynamic and worth every moment.

One of the values held in highest regard in United States culture is “tolerance.” We are implored from every angle, in the media and in schools, that we must tolerate everything and everyone around us. This value is extolled as the highest form of human virtue and should be applied to not only ethnic and religious differences, but to every form of behavior and even to those engaged in foolish, abusive or self-abusing lifestyles. I beg to differ. Tolerance is simply too benign, too soft, too passive to be reflective of Christ Jesus’ Church. I believe He wants more from us than benign tolerance; He wants us to love people extravagantly. We who serve the men and women of sport are surrounded by many who are easy to love and others which we find at least distasteful and maybe even repulsive.

Here are some simple thoughts which contrast extravagant love and benign tolerance:

• Extravagant love takes risks for people. Benign tolerance is safe and secure as it keeps people at a distance.

• Extravagant love embraces people and their imperfections. Benign tolerance puts up with people we find distasteful or odd.

• Extravagant love is very costly as it pays the price to seek others’ best. Benign tolerance is cheap and requires little of the one tolerating the others.

• Extravagant love is active and seeks out those whom we love. Benign tolerance is passive and feels relieved when those tolerated are not around.

• Extravagant love expects the best from others and hopes persistently. Benign tolerance expects little from others and simply hopes to not be disappointed.

• Extravagant love invests deeply in others. Benign tolerance invests shallowly, sharing only what is required.

• Extravagant love honors Christ as it directly reflects His nature. Benign tolerance honors no one as it is purely self-centered and self-protecting, honoring neither the tolerant or the tolerated.

The obvious problem for all of us is that some people really annoy us. Some people’s habits, lifestyles, behavior, or cultural trappings may tear at the very fabric of our convictions and make our flesh scream for relief and distance from these people. Tolerance offers you a low-cost, risk-free solution to your dilemma. It is, however, not worthy of our Lord. Extravagant love is what our Lord modeled for us and has even empowered us to demonstrate. His grace is given to each of us in sufficient measure to love even the most repulsive people in our circles of relationships.

My challenge to you is to press through the easy, cheap, secure, low expectations of tolerance and take the risk, pay the cost, actively and deeply, even extravagantly love the people around you. Coaches, competitors, physios, equipment managers, club officials, athletic directors, support staff, the foolish, the perverse, the profane, the abusive, the rebellious, all of them. Jesus’ blood was shed for each of them and His grace, in you, is sufficient to enable you to love them beyond your wildest imaginations.

Soul Training - 7 Keys to Coaching the Faith of Elite Sportspeople - Part 7

 For the next number of weeks, I will be sharing excerpts from my new book, Soul Training - 7 Keys to Coaching the Faith of Elite Sportspeople. https://www.crosstrainingpublishing.com/shop/soul-training

Invite them into your home.

Without question, some of the most deeply impactful moments of making disciples and building depth of relationship have occurred in my home. As we have welcomed coaches and competitors into our home for studies, for meals, for picnics, coffee, or discussions, they find our place to be peaceful and like home.

Your home does not feel like a dorm room, a noisy apartment, an office, or even the chaotic homes from where many have come. Be mindful that you may be their model for what a Christ-honoring marriage looks like. (77% of college basketball players in the USA come from one or zero parent homes.) Yours may be the only healthy home life they have ever seen. How you live in front of them can be transformational, all by itself.

Consider any or all these opportunities for hospitality with the elite sportspeople in your community:

·      Breakfast in your home with the coaching staff.

·      An off-season cookout with the team.

·      A regular discussion in your kitchen over coffee.

·      Host a Bible study and provide a simple snack.

·      Prepare a lunch or dinner and take it to the coaches’ offices during their most time-consuming days.

Holistic Team Development

Holistic Team Development

 

Some of the most important values I hold in my service of sports teams are those I learned while studying small group dynamics during the 1980s and 1990s. Having led small groups of various sorts in my local church and with short-term mission groups, I was able to test a number of ideas I had gathered from books, teaching tapes (yes, I am that old), and conversations with friends and colleagues. I employed these principles in my leadership of groups involving competitors from multiple teams (FCA huddles), groups of coaches (Coaches huddles), and sports teams (American football, Men’s and Women’s Basketball, Women’s soccer/football, and both college and professional baseball).

 

One of the best books I read during those days was, Good Things Come in Small Groups (Intervarsity Press 1985 ISBN 0-87784-917-X). It is full of excellent information, best practices, and tools for small group leadership.

 

Among the most useful ideas taught in the book is the section on Four Key Ingredients, Part 2 of the book. It describes the relationship and essential qualities of these four elements of a complete small group: Nurture (Bible study and discussion), Worship (prayer and singing), Community (development of relationships), and Mission (purposeful activity in serving others). It’s important for small groups to include all four elements to be healthy and productive.

 

Leadership of sports teams and small groups in the sporting community are wise to include all four elements. For our discussion related to the service of people in sport, I will use the same language with one modification. I will substitute Study for Nurture. The ratio of how each element is incorporated in the life of the team or group will likely vary widely, depending upon the focus of the group’s purpose.

 

Groups with an equal proportion of their time and resources allotted to each element are often called, Koinonia groups. Koinonia is the ancient Greek word for Christian community. These sorts of groups are ideal for the most complete, holistic development of the people in the group as it blends equal parts of Study, Worship, Mission, and Community. Graphically, it looks like this, with each element having 25% of the whole:

 

Most common among small groups within a church are Study Groups. These are often Bible studies, occasionally discussions of a book, Sunday school classes, etc. Many sports ministry groups have Study as the predominant feature of meetings. Even though it may occupy as much as one-half of their time and resources, to be at their best these groups should also include Worship, Community, and Mission. Graphically, it looks like this with Study occupying 50% and the other elements having 16.67% each:

 

 

Another common type of group in churches is a Missions Group. The focus of such a group is a purposeful activity in service of others. These can be as simple as the teams who park cars, greet visitors, or clean the auditorium on Sundays. They can be short-term missions groups, traveling together to serve, teach, or preach in other nations. In either case, their mission is the central element of their team and gives it purpose. To be at their best, these groups would do well to also find ways to build Worship, Study, and Community into how they accomplish their mission. Graphically, such a group looks like this with Mission consuming 50% of its time and resources, and the other elements having 16.6% each:

 

 

Sports Teams are more difficult for the development of a holistic group in that the Mission of the team, its sport, is remarkably consuming of its time and resources. The sport training, strategy, practice, and individual development of players can easily consume 100% of its life. It will require intentionality, effort, collaboration with the coaching staff, and buy in of the competitors to develop a team with all four elements included. Graphically, one could aim for proportions like these with the team’s Mission occupying 75%, and the other elements getting 8.33% each.

 

 

To quantify this in hourly terms, let’s suppose a sports team has 40 hours per week of activities (practices, individual workouts, video review, team meetings, staff meetings, travel, etc.). The Sports Training portion of that week would be 30 hours. If one was able to schedule time for Study, Worship, and Community in to the life of the team, that would allow 10 hours.

 

In my service of a Division I Men’s Basketball Team, I would estimate my weekly involvement at just about 10 hours (2 games per week). This service includes activities like:

·      Practice attendance (primarily Community – building relationships – 3 hours)

·      Game Day shootaround attendance (Community and Worship – prayer – 1 hour)

·      Game Day Team Meeting (Mission and Study – 30 minutes)

·      Game Day Character Moment and Pregame Meal (Study, Prayer, and Community – 30 minutes)

·      Pregame Prayer in locker room (Worship - 2 minutes)

·      Postgame in locker room (Community – 13 minutes)

·      Character Moment discussion with Team (Study and Community – 20 minutes)

·      Character Moment discussion with Coaching Staff (Study and Community – 20 minutes)

 

Serving a sports team is seldom simple, often chaotic, and regularly fluid in nature. It’s not likely to allow you to neatly arrange time in tidy proportions, but you can make a concerted effort to build Study, Worship, and Community into the lives of those you serve. Such service is most effective in the complete development of the coaches and competitors, each and all. Give it your best shot, they’re worth it.

Soul Training - 7 Keys to Coaching the Faith of Elite Sportspeople - Part 6

For the next number of weeks, I will be sharing excerpts from my new book, Soul Training - 7 Keys to Coaching the Faith of Elite Sportspeople. https://www.crosstrainingpublishing.com/shop/soul-training

Demonstrate genuine interest.

Demonstrate genuine interest in the people of sport, not just in the results of their competitions. For far too long the Church has been pleased to “use” sportspeople for their ministry ends and to trade on their celebrity status for institutional gain. Such a utilitarian attitude leads many student-athletes to keep the Church at arm’s length.

When our first interaction with a coach or competitor is to ask about the results of their most recent contest, their defenses go up immediately, especially if the results were less than good. To only ask about results or prospects for upcoming games is to diminish them as people. Ask questions about family, about school, about practice and teammates, or anything related to the process of being an elite or professional sportsperson. This demonstrates an understanding that he or she is more than an animal in a uniform. Love the coach or competitor, not his or her celebrity in the community.

Demonstrate genuine interest in sportspeople by asking questions to draw them into conversation, and then to probe more deeply toward their hearts.

Three levels of questions:

1.   Questions that solicit facts. I ask the competitor’s name, hometown, position, uniform number, etc. These are mostly facts. Most anyone will offer these details.

2.   Questions that elicit passion. I ask about the competitor’s sporting experiences and I’m looking for their love for the sport. I am leading them to tell me stories that awaken their passion for sport, team, competition, coaches, etc.

3.   Questions that solicit their hearts. I ask about the matters at the core of who they are: values, faith, relationships, events, and other factors that shape their lives from the very center.

Please consider this brief list as a place to start with those whom you serve. Always ask process questions, not results questions. Fans and media only ask questions about results.

1. How is your team developing? Is the teamwork good?

2. How pleased are you with your _____? (Training, practice, hitting, rehab, etc.)

3. How pleased are you with preparations for your next competition?

4. Who among your teammates is doing very well?

5. What are some challenges you have encountered?

6. What sorts of situations in your sport bring out the best of your abilities?

7. How well is your team connecting with the coaching staff?

8. When your playing days are over, what do you think you will miss most about sport?

9. What are the situations in your sport that are most difficult for you?

10. Who are your most trusted teammates?

11. When and where are you most fully the person you want to be?

12. What elements of your life in sport are most pleasing to you?

13. What is there about your life in sport that will still be important to you 10 years from now?

14. When you are on the _____ (floor, field, court, track, mat, pitch, etc..), do you feel that God is near or distant? Engaged or disinterested? Pleased or disgusted? Why?