Methods and Values for Networking

Among the most effective skills I have developed across the decades of my career is the ability to network well. To understand who people are, why they are important, how to connect with them, and the value of consistently communicating with them is vital to effective networking.

I’d like to have you consider this skill in terms of methods and values.

Methods – The methods for effective networking are faster, more responsive, and less costly than ever. When I began to understand it in the 1980s, we networked with land line telephones, fax machines, post cards, letters, and face to face meetings. Over thirty years later, we network through mobile phones (calls and SMS messages), email, social media (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and probably others…), Skype video calls, and occasionally even meeting face to face. One has to find the methods that best fits his or her communication style, time commitments, and technological abilities to choose well.

Values – Knowing one’s purposes for networking and the intended results for it will shape most of his or her values in networking. My phone, and probably your phone, is full of names, email addresses, mobile and office phone numbers. Those of us with smart phones have more computing power in our hands than there was on the first moon landing craft in the 1960s. We can use that computing power wisely or foolishly, our values for networking will make the difference. Stated below are some simple values for networking effectively:

·        Communicate frequently. It has been important to me to send a devotional thought to friends and colleagues every Monday morning for well over ten years. The list of people to whom I send these notes is nearly 900 all around the world. One weekly email helps me stay connected with a very wide network. I also aim to send emails to this separate list of sports chaplaincy colleagues every Friday. This list contains several hundred people from six continents as well. This frequency seems to work to do what I hope to accomplish with emailed devotions and notes for sports chaplains, character coaches, and sports mentors.

·        Communicate briefly. The attention span of consumers of electronic material seems to be shortening all the time. To keep one’s correspondence to around 250-300 words gives your message a chance to be consumed completely. If it’s too long, most will check out just part of the way through your thoughts. The confines of Twitter’s 140 character format have actually helped me find ways to communicate very succinctly.

·        Communicate freely. Don’t expect a prompt reply from all those with whom you communicate. My experience is that very few will reply at all. Even if your note really resonates with a person’s heart and produces great fruit, the impacted person is not likely to write you back. If you can’t handle that lack of response, don’t set yourself up for disappointment by sharing your thoughts in this manner. Think of it like radio or broadcast television. You cast your communication into the air and hope it has the intended effect, but you seldom know if it’s connecting until much later.

·        Communicate directly. In networking, regardless of the media, it is wise to be direct and to come straight to the point. A handshake, the repetition of the person’s name, a connection with his or her company, and the exchange of business cards has been the stock in trade of those who network well for decades. This same sort of direct communication is most effective in building one’s network through electronic and social media. Get to the point, quickly.

No matter the chosen media or method, we can be effective networkers as we shape the process by wise application of values for the process. “Please give me your contact information and I’ll be sure to be in touch.” It’s about that simple. Build your network and broaden your influence. It’s worth the time and effort. I promise.

Solitude, Groups, Crowds, and Family

One of the ongoing, constantly shifting, concerns of my life and ministry is managing the ratio of time spent in solitude, in small groups, in crowds, and with family. I know each is important and even vital to a healthy lifestyle and a vibrant ministry, but what are the proper ratios for each aspect of life?

It would be very tidy to assign 25% of one’s time to each area and to call it done. I cannot do that for a number of reasons. My life is seldom that tidy, being the foremost reason. I believe giftedness, personality type, and season of life, each being other factors in building these ratios. Let’s think about these facets of life and ministry individually and about how heavily each one should weigh in the structures of your life and ministry.

Solitude – Each of us would surely say this is an important part of our lifestyle and ministry. To have quiet, private time for reading, contemplation, and composition of ideas is vital. But how much of your day, week, month, and year should this occupy? For me, personally, this is most difficult. Because of being extremely extroverted, easily distracted, and full of energy for activity, I find solitude very difficult. My moments of solitude most often occur while driving my car down the highway. I build one day per month into my calendar for quiet reflection, reading, planning and such, and I usually can make that happen. (Thank you John Stott for the recommendation.) Once a year, I plan and execute a three to four day study retreat where I can be 100% alone, listen to music, read, write, and plan the coming year. Some of my friends, and my wife in particular, are perfectly happy with hours per day of solitude and quiet. They find it fulfilling and relaxing. I about go nuts in the first two hours! Let’s find time for solitude, whether it is 2% or 50% of your time will likely be shaped by personality, giftedness, and calling.

Groups – I am sure we would each and all see the need to live and serve in small groups. To interact with people in groups of 4 to 24 is both healthy and builds community in an excellent way. We can know people deeply when we spend time with them on a regular basis, whether focused on study, worship, service, or fellowship. The best groups combine a measure of all four elements. This is the environment in which I best serve and grow. I seek groups and regularly start new ones. The extroverted among us will soak up the energy of the group and thrive in its life. The introverted among us will likely be drained by the group, and the larger the group the more quickly their energies will fade. If one is an introvert, finding the proper size, content, and focus for group life would seem to be most important. They need group life as much as the extrovert needs solitude, though not necessarily their preferred cup of tea. Let’s find a way to build small group life into our schedules. Let’s entrust our hearts to some trustworthy men and women who will care for us in our best and our worst days.

Crowds – I seldom find people who are ambivalent about crowds. Most folks either love the chaotic movement of a sea of unidentified human beings or they are intimidated, crowded, and disturbed by the masses. For some the crowd is something to be avoided, while others feed off the energy and emotion felt in large groups of 200 or more people. I believe this is why most churches in the USA have 120 or fewer people in attendance most Sundays. To have more people than that compromises people’s ability to know everyone and leads to feelings of being alone in a crowd of strangers. This also accounts why some churches which break through the 250 person barrier, grow to become megachurches with thousands in attendance weekly. These people are very comfortable in crowds and don’t feel any compulsion to know everyone’s name. I believe it is healthy and even wise to find some time to be in crowds. In ministry, these crowds are like huge fishing holes. In crowds we can meet people new to us, we may find candidates to join our groups, we may find new friends or ministry partners, and we can simply enjoy the unique strength and joy that is afforded those who participate in corporate worship in a huge crowd. No matter our natural bent toward crowds, let’s find ways to participate in them and to gather from their unique advantages.

Family – I am sure you have read about this, attended seminars, done the workbooks, watched the videos, and suffered the pangs of guilt offered by so many related to the life of your family. I will not add to your load of guilt and despair. Rather, I would like to have you see family life from a broad perspective. One’s season of life should probably be a strong factor in how one prioritizes time and resources related to family. When I was a young husband and father, we were rather poor and scraped together a living with long hours of work and little recreation time. We spent a lot of time with family because we had no choice. Later, as our careers developed and our son got older, we prioritized time to be with him in his youth sporting activities. It was the right time to invest those hours in practice, driving to and from games, and playing ball at home with him. As we became empty-nesters, our use of time shifted more toward career development and time with my wife. Now as grandparents, we carve out time to drive the hour and a quarter each way to be with two little girls. We make time for them, regardless of most other factors. Over the years, the ratio of time spent with family was largely dictated by the opportunities at hand for the best expression of love, commitment, loyalty, and investment in those for whom we care most deeply.

Finally, please hear the admonition of one almost sixty years old, who has made enough mistakes to have some perspective. Please make time for solitude, your soul needs it. The Lord may speak to you in the quiet moment, if you have one. Please seek out and form intimate small groups, you and they need it. The Lord may speak to you through a trusted and loving member of your group, if you are in one. Please find a way to be in a crowd on occasion, your vision needs this. The whole world is not just like your small group, nor like the person in your mirror, your vision can expand and your hope can be renewed in a healthy, vibrant crowd experience. Please make time for your family, all those around you need it. Your family is a model for the untold number who are watching you. You have a unique opportunity to show all those around you what a Christ-honoring family looks like, warts and all. Love them extravagantly and the world will beat a path to your door to learn how.

Beginnings and Endings of Sports Seasons

No matter the sport with which you serve, there is a natural rhythm to the season. Each season has a beginning and an end. Most have a pre-season and a post-season. We would be wise to understand these natural rhythms and to shape our work so as to take advantage of both the beginning and the end of the season. Following are some thoughts about both the beginning and ending of sports seasons.

Beginning of a season –

·        The great thing about this part of the season is that everyone starts undefeated. Hope beats strongly in the hearts of every team and each player and coach during this part of the season. As soon as the first competition is completed, half of all the teams competing now have losses. Let the hope and anticipation of the new season work for you as you speak with everyone in terms filled with hope, expectation, excitement, and anticipation of good things.

·        The downside of this part of the season is that some have expectations that range from unrealistic to laughable. If we are wise we will help these, less than reasonable, players or coaches to focus on the daily process of preparation and competition, over against a set of results that they hope validate their optimism. Talk in terms of embracing the process of development and becoming the team they hope to be at the end of the season. You may see their disappointment coming before they do.

·        When speaking with team leaders (coaches, club managers, etc.), set the boundaries for your service and the expectations for when, where, and how you will serve the team. Seek to establish this and to maintain a consistency of service without regard to the ups and downs that accompany most seasons of sport.

End of a season –

·        The great part about this part of the season is that we now know what kind of team we have. The process and the results have revealed the nature of our team. Some teams compete like champions and enjoy the rewards of such performance. Others finish well below the .500 line and lick their wounds as the season mercifully ends. Still others find themselves mired in the mediocrity of the middle of the standings. In any case, there is a finality to the end of any season.

·        Be mindful that for some or many, the end of this season is also the end of their careers. At every level of sport, the end of sports seasons bring the end of careers. When you are aware of such, speak clearly and affirm those who exit the sport. A simple thank you card, a well-crafted letter, a chat over coffee, or a visit to your home for dinner are all powerful ways to express your heart and God’s heart to those who finish their sporting careers.

·        Consider those who may be terminated at season’s end. The sports world can be cold and cruel to those who underperform or seem to be a “poor fit.” It is of immense value to those who leave the team that you show faithfulness and loyalty when they are terminated. Pursue them with calls, text messages, tweets, however you can, find a way to express your support, to assure them of your prayers, and to communicate your respect. Most of their colleagues and friends don’t know what to say or how to respond. We need the emotional intelligence and grace to love those who find themselves adrift and seeking new employment.

·        Finally, after the season it is always wise to meet with the team leaders (coaches, club managers, etc.) to evaluate, to review, and to discuss your service of the team. Seek their ideas, adjustments, and vision for the season to come.

Let the natural rhythms of the sporting season work in your favor. Take advantage of their virtues and beware of their vices. Use these seasonal advantages to enable you to love the people of sport in your charge extravagantly and to serve them selflessly.

Process over Results

Just over twelve years ago in Athens, Greece I was chatting with Andrew Wingfield Digby of the United Kingdom about sports chaplaincy and as we wrapped up our conversation, I asked, “Are there any other pointers you would share with sports chaplains?” He looked me in the eye and shook his index finger while saying, “Don’t act like a fan!” I have repeated this advice on five continents since hearing it in 2003.

As I have contemplated Andrew’s statement across the years and have sought to grasp its significance, I have arrived at one value in particular. It is to value process over results in all interactions with people of sport. No matter if it’s a twelve year old baseball player or an eighty-five year old coach, my approach and my conversation is always about process and never about results. Fans only care about results – wins, losses, championships, pay raises, being fired, new contracts, or resignations. To make matters worse, sports media members usually ask the same sorts of results oriented questions, simply broadcasting the same attitude to thousands or millions of listeners, viewers, or readers. The sportspeople are normally either defensive to such conversation or they simply answer in a string of clichés with little to no value or insight.

I prefer to engage sportspeople in terms of process. I ask questions about practice, training, rehab sessions, weight training, player development, personal development of the coaching staff, etc. I ask questions like these: “How pleased are you with this week’s practices? What does your upcoming opponent do well? How do your team match up with them? How are things going for (player’s name)? What about this team pleases you most? Who is leading well on the field/pitch/court/track? How is your team developing?”

I never ask questions like these: “Are you going to win tonight? Are we going all the way this season? Will we be better than last year? Why didn’t you win yesterday? Why are we losing so much? Should I bet on you or against you this weekend? (Obvious, I hope.) Do you think my chapel talk today will lead to a win? Are we going to be champions this season? Who is the best player in your league? Why don’t you win championships anymore? Will we beat __________ (rival team) this year? Is this year’s team as good as the ____ (great team from the past) team?”

Sports fans see everything about sport in the simplest form possible – results. Sportspeople, those engaged in the daily processes of sport, understand their lives are much better understood and experienced in terms of process. We will connect better with them, we will understand them better, we will communicate with their hearts better if we lean into chatting about process and run away from foolish discussion of results.

Communication in Paper and Ink

Over the last twenty years there has been a rapid increase in communication, mostly digital in nature. While this has made it faster, more convenient, and allowed communication across the globe, virtually instantly, it has come at the expense of the immense value of communication on paper. I’d like to have you consider some thoughts as to how written communication, on paper, can be of even greater impact than an email, an SMS text message, a tweet, Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat message.

Hand written notes – Much like a text message or tweet in content, the value here is that it feels more personal to the receiver of the note. As poor as your handwriting may be, there is no comparison to the impact of such a note when it conveys your heart, your thoughts, and your prayers for the recipient. What’s more, it will likely be kept, posted on a wall, folded into a book, or used to hold a place in a Bible. Finding proper occasion for such notes is helpful. I use them often to congratulate someone on an accomplishment, at the end of a season or a career to thank a player or coach, in moments of failure or loss to share comfort, assurance, and loyalty to those feeling lonely and cut off.

Game Day letters – I have used this form of communication for twenty years. With many of the teams I serve I am afforded the opportunity to speak with some of the players and coaches, sometimes with 100% of the team and coaching staff. While speaking is of tremendous value, it is incomplete. I also take advantage of the opportunity and provide a game day devotional thought, in letter form, for those attending chapel or for the coaching staff to read aloud pregame. I have been stunned by how many of our players tell me that they save these letters, keep them throughout their careers, refer to them on occasion, post them in their lockers, or even put them in a binder. Many of them find their way to the trash bin, but it’s worth it for the ones whose hearts are touched by the written word.

Books – Now that books are not only available in paper and ink, but also formatted for your electronic tablet, Nook, or even your smart phone, books are more important than ever. I have consumed books in both forms over the last several years, but always prefer paper and ink books. They make it simpler for me to highlight, to make notes, to dog ear pages, and most importantly to share with others. When I find a book that is of particular value, I will share my copy with others, I will buy a copy for the coach or athlete, or I’ll buy a lot of copies to give away at coaches clinics, for use in small group meetings, or other venues. Books are good. Read some. Give some away. Enrich others’ lives.

Prayers – Across my years of service as a sport chaplain, few things have had the impact of writing down what I was praying for a person and then handing that written prayer to the person for whom I was praying. When we tell someone, “I’m praying for you,” it can seem terribly remote and detached from their experience of the moment. When we take the time, the care, the intentionality, to write down exactly what we are praying, it speaks to their hearts in a unique way. It also informs them as to how to pray for themselves. It encourages and strengthens them to trust God and builds relationship with us.

Please send text messages, tweet someone, send a Facebook note or an email, but do not neglect the opportunity to make a uniquely powerful connection with others by communicating on paper. The lasting value of such notes are posted all over the filing cabinet at my office and are kept as treasures in my home.

Update - Inaugural Global Congress on Sports and Christianity

REGISTRATION DEADLINE AND UPDATE:

Inaugural Global Congress on Sports and Christianity, York St John University, UK, 24-28 August 2016

 Just 7 months to go until the Inaugural Global Congress on Sports and Christianity, York St John University, UK, 24-28 August 2016, see: http://www.yorksj.ac.uk/IGCSC2016/  

Encouragingly delegate registrations and abstracts submitted for the delivery of 20-minute oral presentations have come in from academics, practitioners and clergy that are diverse in content, and are, from across the globe: US, UK, China, Canada, India, France, Italy, Latvia, Norway, Slovenia, Poland, Belgium, Thai-Land, China, Australia, Sweden, Czech Republic, Ireland, and a number of African countries.

Three things to make you aware of ……………………

Delegate Registration

The deadline for Congress Registration (which includes payment) has now been set and is on the Congress web-site: 6^th June, 2016. No registrations will be accepted after this date.  

To Register online, see: http://www.yorksj.ac.uk/health--life-sciences/faculty-of-hls/faculty-events/igcsc/registration.aspx

Call for Papers

The deadline for the Second Call for Papers is 18^th March, 2016 and the maximum number of abstracts is 100. No abstracts will be accepted after this date / number has been reached.

To submit an Abstract, see PdF. Attached, or web-page: http://www.yorksj.ac.uk/health--life-sciences/faculty-of-hls/faculty-events/igcsc/call-for-papers.aspx

Website: http://bit.ly/1P2jqAA

Twitter: @SportTheology

Any queries please do let me know.

Best Wishes Nick

Dr Nick J Watson

Senior Lecturer, Sport, Culture and Religion

Faculty of Health and Life Sciences

York St John University

Lord Mayor's Walk

York, Y031 7EX

England

Telephone: 01904 876833

Email: n.watson@yorksj.ac.uk

  

Convener, Inaugural Global Congress on Sports and Christianity, York St John University, UK, 24-28 August 2016, see: http://www.yorksj.ac.uk/IGCSC2016/

Co-Director, Centre for Sport, Spirituality and Religion, University of Gloucestershire, UK

The Competitor's Book of Prayer

During the summer of 2014, my wife and I were at an airport on the way to New Orleans for some vacation. As we sat at the airport I was thinking about how we encourage competitors, athletes and coaches, to pray about their lives in sport, but we seldom if ever give them any good models for such prayer. I was grieved by the situation and thought someone should do something about it. Since I was the one thinking about it, I determined I would give it a shot. I further thought, Jesus gave his disciples a model, why should we not? While at the airport that day I wrote about sixty situations in a sportsperson’s life when it would be most helpful to know how to pray. That began a process of contemplation, prayer, writing prayers in my phone, testing them with competitors via text message and on this blog, and through discussions with sports ministry colleagues, pastors, and friends.

That process and those 75+ prayers have now been released in book form. The Competitor’s Book of Prayer is now available through Cross Training Publishing at - http://crosstrainingpublishing.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=378&osCsid=rdufbo6e56dkfogusbt1p5ks86 as well as through Amazon.com and other booksellers. Cross Training Publishing offers discounts for sports ministry staff people and for bulk orders.

The Competitor’s Book of Prayer contains 160 pages of model prayers for a myriad of situations experienced by the people of sport. It also contains a page opposite each prayer for you to journal your use of that prayer. It is my prayer that these simple models provide a way to help the competitors you serve with ways to open their hearts to the Lord Jesus in prayer.

Here are some comments from people who saw draft versions of The Competitor’s Book of Prayer.

“Roger’s experience of dealing with athletes from all sports has allowed him to capture some of the real issues they face, and equip them with God’s word and the power of prayer to overcome anything that stands in their way.”

Richard Gamble

International Development Director

Sports Chaplaincy UK

“This book revitalises my daily prayer life! It's powerful, helps me refocus back to Jesus, is relevant in my daily spiritual battle, and finally it's contagious to encourage others to pray!”

Jung Ho Jung

Sports Chaplaincy Hong Kong

“In sport, as in life, communication is vital. The coach gives guidance and encouragement to his players. But the players must also grow this relationship through thanking, sharing and asking for help from the coach. While many books have been written for athletes to hear God’s Word (through Bible studies) few have addressed an athlete’s communication to the Divine Coach through prayer. Roger’s brilliant book fills the gap in this field of play. His book offers athletes, coaches and lovers of sport models/templates to praise the Creator of all (including sport), confessions, prayers for the game and training, and prayers for many situations athletes face. Roger does a God honouring job in helping the people of sport bring all of their lives, including sport, before our Heavenly Father.”

Cameron Butler | National Director

Sports Chaplaincy Australia

“When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, he did so by giving them a model prayer.  Roger Lipe has given athletes and coaches a range of model prayers for every athletic situation.  The book should be in every athlete's kit bag.”

Stuart Weir

Verité Sport

“In the heat of the sporting battle, it’s easy to lose sight of who we are - and, just as importantly, who we aren’t. And it’s good to be reminded of both. Drawing on his extensive experience as a sports chaplain, Roger Lipe has produced a book of prayer which provides a plethora of such reminders and in so doing will prove to be a wonderful companion to Christian sportsmen and women the world over for years to come.

Professor Andrew Parker

University of Gloucestershire – United Kingdom

"Straight forward. No frills. Honest.  When it comes to speaking God's truth into the competitive hearts of athletes, no one does it better than Roger Lipe."

Rev. Shane Bishop

Senior Pastor

Christ United Methodist Church – Fairview Heights, IL

“The Competitor's Book of Prayer is an amazing resource for people trying to glorify Jesus through athletics. Roger has a unique insight on sport and faith and an incredible ability to coalesce the two.”

Mike McElroy

Defensive Coordinator

Concordia Univesity Football

St. Paul, Minnesota (USA)

“Roger Lipe, along with his wife, Sharon, are integral members of our football family’s leadership team.  Through their on-going commitment to our program, they provide nurturance and guidance to players and coaches well beyond the season.  Roger’s game day Chapel services and daily prayers remind us to model strength and perseverance, use our talents and abilities in glory to God, and remain grateful in all circumstances.”

Dale Lennon

Former Head Football Coach

Southern Illinois University (USA)