Discernment

After a week of being out of touch (little Internet access in Cuba) I’m ready to share some thoughts about another of the essential qualities for a Sport Chaplain or Sport Mentor. This week – Discernment – “the trait of judging wisely and objectively.”



For decades I have heard people say things like, “Don’t judge him. Don’t be too quick to make judgments. We’re in no position to judge.” However, every day we desperately need the trait of judging wisely and objectively in order to serve the people of sport well.


We need discernment to decide if something is genuine or artificial? Was that a genuine or artificial apology to his teammates? Is that coach being genuine or artificial in his statements about matters of faith?


Is this course of action being proposed wise or foolish? A discerning person can see the end result well before it arrives. He or she can help avoid the consequences of a poor decision by asking good questions or reframing the discussion with insight.


Is this person an ally or an enemy? A discerning person can see through the smoke screens of deception, flattery and inflated resumes. A person of discernment can be of tremendous value to an organization in the recruiting, hiring and development process.


Is he or she real or simply posing? Discernment helps us see the true nature of a person more clearly. The discerning person can see through the posing of the player who says what he thinks the coach wants to hear. She can hear the conviction and purity of heart of a young lady whose motivations are pure.


Should we commit to this decision or wait for a while? Pull the trigger or no? Move or stay? Hire or not? Fire this person or be patient with him? The discerning of heart seem to have an intuitive sense of timing and then confidence with their decisions, long before the fruit of the decision is visible to everyone else.


If you are a person of discernment serving as a Sport Chaplain or Sport Mentor, you are of immeasurable value. When asked for your thoughts on a matter requiring discernment, share your thoughts freely and confidently. If they ask your opinion, you are free to share the wisdom God has given you. It’s precisely because you are trusted and are perceived to be discerning that the question is asked. Ask the Lord Jesus for an extra measure of discernment and then employ it well in serving the people of sport as they make important decisions.

Confidence

Today we’ll consider another of the essential qualities for effective service as a sports chaplain or mentor. Confidence is a most important characteristic for such service as we live in a culture of people who vacillate between arrogance and humiliation depending upon their last performance. In either case, we must act confidently to be of value to their growing lives in sport and faith.

 

We need confidence when we walk into uncomfortable situations. If we’re well prepared and confident in our training we can step into the coach’s office after a crushing defeat knowing we can serve the team well. To be of assistance with questions related to discipline of a player or staff member. To help our charges deal with illness, disease, injury and even death requires a confidence which is born of a liberated heart, a pure conscience and a humble attitude.

 

Confidence is important to help us know where we fit. If we’re in a sport setting and confidence wells up within us, we feel like we fit in here, we relax and we’re free to be our best.

 

Confidence is a byproduct of our being genuine in our roles with the players, coaches, teams and support staff. They perceive that we’re not playing a role. We’re not pretending or posing as those who say they want to serve, but are secretly just seeking access to the players and “off limits” areas.

 

Confidence is indispensable when we walk into hospital rooms where the coach is receiving chemotherapy. It’s of immeasurable value when we step into the uncertain world of the emergency room. We’re immediately perceived to have it or to be lacking it when we step onto the field, pitch, floor, ice or the court.

 

Let’s build our confidence upon the unchanging nature of Christ’s love, grace and mercy toward us. Let’s find it more in our Lord’s calling upon or lives than in our background, experience, education or affiliations. Let a genuine confidence grow in your heart, show on your countenance and flow from your mouth as you extravagantly love the men and women of sport.

Timing

Another of the important qualities for sports chaplains and sports mentors is a sense of Timing. The ability to be at the right place at just the right time is both serendipitous and strategic. We can stumble onto such timing on occasion, but we should also choose the times and locations which best facilitate our ministries with coaches and competitors.



• One should know when to speak and when to keep quiet. Nothing is as annoying as the person who can’t be quiet when the moment requires silence and reflection.


“Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise;


When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” Proverbs 17:28


• One should think carefully about when to be present with the team. For your sport, is it more advantageous to attend practice or competitions? Is it better to be with people prior to or after a contest? Is your presence more helpful after losses or victories? There are surely some situations which better lend themselves to conversation and open hearts.


“Oil and perfume make the heart glad,


So a man's counsel is sweet to his friend.” Proverbs 27:9


• One should know when to leave people alone. Some people really want to be alone after wins, others after losses. Some value privacy in pre-game preparations while others are very social. Some of us can really get on the nerves of those we seek to serve simply because they feel smothered by our presence at the wrong time.


“Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend,


And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity;


Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” Proverbs 27:10


• One can make a tremendous impact upon people when we say the right thing at just the right time. When you hear encouragement, challenge, affirmation or direction in your heart for the player or coach and you deliver it in the appropriate moment, it is immeasurably valuable.


“Like apples of gold in settings of silver


Is a word spoken in right circumstances.” Proverbs 25:11


Let’s consider the when and where of our ministries. Let’s plan wisely to be present in the most advantageous places and times to serve well. Let’s also be willing to act on a hunch, an intuitive thought or to answer a random request to visit a player, to hang out with a coach or to show up at the training room, hospital or funeral. We may find our timing is perfect and we’re speaking words of life to starving souls.

Compassion

Today we will consider another in the long list of necessary traits for sports chaplains and sports mentors – Compassion. It can be defined this way: “Compassion is a human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering.”

The Bible is full of expressions of our Lord’s compassion and this one is among my favorites:


Psalm 103:13-14 (New International Version)


13 "As a father has compassion on his children,


so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;


14 for he knows how we are formed,


he remembers that we are dust."

We who serve the men and women of sport must be conscious of each one’s background and the factors which have brought him or her to this place. Many are from homes with poor parents, no parents and at least ½ in the USA come from broken families. We must be mindful of from what they are made – as the Lord is aware that we are made from dust.

We must treat our work with them as a long-term process and not think that we can solve all of life’s issues with one simple prayer, a ritual or with a skillful talk. It may have taken 20 years for the knots in the person’s heart to be tied, it may take a while to untie those knots of sin and brokenness.

We must also exercise compassion with coaches, administrators and other adults in the system. Let’s be mindful of the pressures, the weight of decisions, the constantly changing factors and the relational dynamics which result in their reactions to people or situations. Many of these people are just as fragile in heart as they youngest players they lead. These adults just have more powerful positions and a more mature appearance.

Let’s purpose in our hearts to practice compassion as an essential part of our ministries. Let’s remember how the people of sport are formed, knowing that they are made of dust, as are we. Let’s care deeply for them and thus wisely reflect our Lord’s heart toward those who revere Him.

Dynamic Ministry

In a recent conversation with a local sports reporter I was asked the question, “After sixteen years of serving as a sports chaplain, why do you still do it?” I had not thought about this before, but replied, “Because it’s dynamic. It changes all the time.” I am usually more of a short-term project oriented person rather than long-term. For me to stay at anything for sixteen weeks is rare, let alone sixteen years. I have given more thought to the dynamic nature of sports chaplaincy and some of those thoughts follow.

 

In a university setting like mine, there is constant turnover in players. One fourth of the team leaves and another fourth comes in every year. There is a new opponent at least once a week, often twice. In sixteen years we have worked with four different coaching staffs in American Football and five staffs in Women’s Basketball. We’ve also gained and then lost our relationship with Women’s Volleyball, have recently gained a relationship with Men’s Basketball and have a growing presence with Women’s Softball. These things change constantly; some for the better and some for the worse.

 

Each week there are new problems to solve, there are new crises to meet, new questions to answer, new injuries to be healed, new hearts to love, minds to challenge, souls to inspire and new Christ-followers to mentor.

 

In addition, as each year unfolds my own life changes dynamically. When I began in this role I was thirty-eight years old and the father of a seventeen year old son. A few years later, Sharon and I were empty nesters. A little later we became in-laws and now I’m a prospective grandfather with responsibilities for aging parents and in-laws.

 

I believe that these daily, monthly, seasonal and annual changes keep this ministry from becoming routine, formulaic and mundane. By staying relationally oriented rather that programmatic, this ministry keeps my heart, mind and body fully engaged, challenged and reliant upon the Lord’s provision. Please join me in maintaining a relational approach and thereby experiencing the Lord Jesus’ best in dynamic ministry with the people of sport.

Availability

Today we will consider another necessary quality for effective service as a sports chaplain or sports mentor – Availability. To be available to the people one serves is of greatest importance. Finding a way to be at the right place at just the right time is most strategic for effective service and for depth of impact upon the lives of coaches, competitors and support staff. Let’s consider a list of places, times and options for making oneself available.



Be available to sportspeople:


• In moments of distress – crisis and pain don’t own watches.


• To talk, to counsel, to discuss issues in sport and life in general.


• Emotionally – don’t fear their pain, frustration and loss. Feel it with them.


• To simply relax with the coach or player. Give them a break from being constantly “on.”


• At practice.


• In the training room.


• When it’s convenient to them.


• When it’s inconvenient to you.


• By phone.


• By SMS text message.


• By email.


• In person.



If you will make yourself available you can expect to find an open heart, a trusting soul, a receptive mind and a warm smile from the people of sport whom you lovingly, humbly serve.

Sports Films with Significance for Sports Chaplains and Sports Mentors

"Chariots of Fire” – This Academy award winning film is my personal favorite sports movie. It contrasts the lives of two sprinters whose lives intersect on the track, but vary widely in terms of identity.

“The Legend of Bagger Vance” – This film tells the tale of a golfer who matches up with some high profile golfers in a much hyped contest. It helps the viewers see what the golfer sees when he is well focused and has good concentration.

“Bull Durham” – This often crude film shares a view of minor league baseball which varies between crude, lewd, endearing and humorous. It does detail some of the sacrifices players and coaches make to stay in the game as long as they can.

“Hoosiers” – There are layers of relationships developed in this film and many are authentic to lives in sport. It displays a number of broken people and how sport sometimes helps them restore their relationships and even their own sense of identity.

“The Natural” – This is a story which portrays a player’s love for the game, his broken relationships with people and the game, and finally restoration of those relationships.

“Field of Dreams” – If you can cut through the mysticism and post-modern dogma, you’ll find some solid insights into a player’s mentality in this film. Watch in particular the segments when Joe Jackson is on the field. Listen to his words and watch his movements. This looks like someone who loves baseball.

“Eight Men Out” – This is a story of the “Black Sox” gambling scandal and faithfully portrays the pressures which would lead a player to shave points or otherwise cheat the game he loves

“Remember the Titans” – This movie about two high school football which were merged due to racial integration in the USA. Watch the relationships which are layered throughout, coach-player, player-player, coach-coach, white-black, white-white, black-black, coach-community and even more.

“61*” – The pressures which high profile and elite players feel are highlighted in this film about Roger Maris’ pursuit of Babe Ruth’s single season home run record.

“The Blind Side” – Like most films, this one is not as good as the book, but it has real merit. It gives us a look at how a player’s unique athletic abilities can make a way for him to escape his environment of poverty and crime and learn to achieve and relate to people outside his culture.

“For Love of the Game” – This film is about professional baseball and the broken relationships so prevalent in that culture. It does a good job of getting inside a pitcher’s head and his ability to focus his mind for high level erformance.

“Cinderella Man” – This film about boxing deals with the pressures and drives of a competitor. It shows his relationships with his family, promoters and competitors.

“Hoop Dreams” – This film follows two young basketball players from the housing projects in Chicago. It tells a sometimes despairing tale of their lives and their dreams that basketball will be their tickets out of this life.

“Rudy” – This overly sentimental movie about an undersized kid who grew up dreaming of playing football for the University of Notre Dame is inspiring none the less.

“Miracle” – This film tells the story of the formation and the performance of the 1980 USA Ice Hockey Gold Medal team. It’s insightful as to how a coach evaluates players and builds a team.

“Breaking Away” – This movie about bicycle racing displays the sacrifices a competitor will make to pursue his dream. The protagonist deals with misunderstanding, cultural bias and family conflicts on the way to fulfillment of his goals.

“Finding Forrester” – This film about a young, black basketball player who is mentored by an older, reclusive, white writer is fascinating. They do a good job with the basketball and provide some good insight into mentoring.

“Invictus” – This film tells the story of how President Nelson Mandela used the influence of Rugby to help unify South Africa across ethnic and cultural barriers.

“Seabiscuit” - is a 2003 American dramatic film based on the best-selling novel Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand. The film recounts the life and racing career of Seabiscuit, an undersized and overlooked thoroughbred race horse, whose unexpected successes made him a hugely popular media sensation in the United States near the end of the Great Depression. (Wikipedia)

"Bend it like Beckham” - An Indian girl living in England who wants to play soccer and her battle against prejudice. Girls in that culture don't play sport.

This is certainly not an exhaustive list. My aim here is not to endorse any of these, their value systems or worldviews. Rather, I simply have found these to offer insight into the relationships, values, hearts and minds of coaches and competitors in sport. Short clips from these films are often useful as teaching tools to illustrate such insights for those in training to serve as sport chaplains, sports mentors or even parents and spouses trying to understand their competitive family members.