Five Lies of a Sports Chaplain’s or Character Coach’s Identity

I recently saw a tweet that quoted Henri Nouwen’s Five lies of identity. I seems that this idea was delivered in a lecture by Henri Nouwen titled, “Who are We?: Exploring our Christian Identity.”  I had heard some of these articulated by others, but was glad to find the original source for these ideas.

Henri Nouwen’s Five Lies of Identity:

1) I am what I have.
2) I am what I do.
3) I am what other people say or think of me.
4) I  am nothing more than my worst moment.
5) I am nothing less than my best moment.

Five Lies of a Sports Chaplain’s or Character Coach’s Identity:

1) I am what I have. It’s a trap to find one’s identity in the privilege he’s given, in the prestige she receives by being connected with a team, in the team gear one is given to wear, in the championship rings some are blessed to receive, in the public platform we sometimes perilously ascend, or in the access we are afforded to changing rooms, to sidelines, to the coaches offices and more. Sports Chaplain, what you have does not define you. Most of it can easily be taken away or foolishly forfeited.

2) I am what I do. Serving as a sports chaplain or character coach is what I do, not who I am. To be the confidante to celebrity sportspeople is a responsibility, not a defining characteristic of one’s life. To be chaplain to champions in sport is a privilege, not a personal identity. Any or all these descriptions may be true of what we do, but they are neither primary nor permanent statements of our identity.

3) I am what other people say or think of me. I am not what others may see as a glamourized image, strolling the sidelines of a sports arena. I am not how others' flattery portrays me. I am not defined by my public reputation, good or bad. I am essentially as I am perceived in the poorly informed esteem of my colleagues and friends. Others’ opinions, their flattery or criticism, nor any other external assessment of me defines my life.

4) I  am nothing more than my worst moment. My lack of poise in a critical moment is not a life defining situation. My absence when I was critically needed does not establish my identity. When I have spoken foolishly, when morally compromised, when exposed by ethical failure, when fired from my role, when publically accused of wrongdoing, or when nothing I do seems to bear fruit, none of these moments of failure or neglect ultimately define who I am as a person.

5) I am nothing less than my best moment. I am not defined 100% by my highest achievement, by my association with a championship team, by the times when everyone responds well, or when it seems everything we touch flourishes. Our identity cannot be hung on the fleeting memories of our best days. To be defined by our personal highlight videos is simultaneously pitiful and delusional.

This simple chart displays many scriptural statements re: our identity in Christ. This identity is genuine, secure, and timeless. It’s quite natural for us to be lured into believing the lies of identity, as Nouwen lists them. It is critical that we eschew the lies and hold tightly to our identity in Christ Jesus. Lean into these scriptures and rest in your immutable identity in Christ.