Wise Conversation with Competitors

Yesterday’s conversation with a student-athlete here at Southern Illinois University affirmed some things I’ve been thinking about for several months. Let’s discuss the sorts of questions we should ask and matters for wise conversation with the people of sport.

1) Don’t focus solely on outcomes. This is all the media and fans seem to care about and it wears them out. They constantly hear questions like, “Will you go all the way this year?” “How many wins will you get this season?” “Are you going to win the championship again this year?” “How badly will you beat that team this weekend?” “How could you lose to that team, they’re horrible?” “Why didn’t you win yesterday?” And more ad nauseum. These kinds of questions about ultimate outcomes are nearly impossible to answer and just frustrate them. We need to do better than that as we engage them in conversation.
2) Don’t spiritualize the sport and their lives. This is too often the way of people in the Church and sometimes the way of sport chaplains. In a discussion of their recent lack of success we’ll ask if they’ve been faithful in their quiet times. We’ll ask if they’ve been in church or if they really prayed prior to the game. Such questioning only leads to confusion, inappropriate guilt and shame and sometimes even to the shipwrecking of one’s faith. Some try to lessen the sting of loss by saying that “it’s only a game” and the real important matters of life revolve around the church, not sport. Such dualistic thinking only serves to deepen their frustration. For competitors, it is much more than a game and hearing that creates immediate distance between them and those who speak in such terms.
3) Do focus on the process. Talk about the matters over which they have some control. Ask about how well they practiced this week. Ask about how well prepared they feel. Ask about the health of the team or certain individuals. Ask about how they feel they have progressed to this point. Ask about where they are in the pursuit of their goals. Ask about practice habits, effort, attitudes, team dynamics, relationships and leadership. These are all matters related to the process of preparation for and competition in their sport. They have some measure of control and the ability to shape these matters and they’re much more willing to talk about them. They also more highly respect those who ask such questions because they reflect a higher level of respect for the sport, the competitors and the process.

In summary, let’s be sure to engage our coaches and athletes in wise conversation. Let’s avoid the kinds of questions so often asked by the media, fans and other casual observers. Let’s ask better questions about the processes involved in sport and fewer ones about the ultimate outcomes. In doing so we’ll gain more favor, we’ll grow in our understanding of the sport and our subjects’ hearts and we’ll deepen the relationships which are so vital to our ministries.