Character Traits for Effective Service in Sports Chaplaincy

There are a myriad of factors making for effectiveness in sports chaplaincy or character coaching. Among them are one's background, training, personality traits, spiritual giftedness, relationships, emotional intelligence, and more. I believe a short set of character traits are even more essential to effective service than any of the aforementioned qualities.

This list is not exhaustive, but I believe these six are most essential: Humility, Patience, Self-awareness, Perspective, Curiosity, and Persistence.

Humility is a quality quite uncommon among sportspeople. They are normally straddling the line between brazen arrogance and strong confidence. In such an environment one can join in the folly of seeking to be seen as first, or one can put himself in rank (the literal meaning of humility) and intentionally take the lower position. Though the supremely confident thumpers of their chests loudly project power and strength, they also respect the humble one who quietly serves.

Patience is a rather counterintuitive value in the sporting world. Most everything seems to be very urgent. When the sports chaplain is patient with people's failures, their inconsistencies, their human frailties, it is noticed and appreciated. Most everyone around them is harsh and demanding. When the character coach leads with patience, projects an attitude of, "I"m not in a hurry," the coaches and players appreciate it.

Self-awareness is the ability to know one's strengths and weaknesses, and to strongly embrace both. Sportspeople are fully aware of their strengths and focus on them almost exclusively. When they see someone equally owning his weaknesses as well as his strengths, they are not sure what to think at first, but soon demonstrate respect and trust for the self-aware sports chaplain. Such authenticity pierces hard hearts and awakens slumbering spirits.

Perspective is in short supply around sport's culture of winning at all costs. Coaches have less security than ever. Players in professional sport and now in many corners of collegiate sport measure their value, not just in wins and losses, but in dollars and cents. When a sports chaplain can help others see beyond the moment, the win or loss, the championship or relegation, the contract extension or the abrupt firing, he or she is sharing a rare character trait with those being served.

Curiosity may be the one quality in the list causing you to raise an eyebrow. About what should one be curious? Demonstrate curiosity about the people you serve. Curiously watch practices. Listen to how they communicate, observe their body language and gestures. Be curious about the sport itself. There is always something to be observed, to be learned, to be understood. Your curiosity will be interpreted as genuine interest and respect for their profession.

Persistence is of paramount importance because results are not usually quickly obtained. The urgency of sporting schedules, the frequency of training, practices, and competitions seem to squeeze the margins for time and attention for everyone involved. This can leave the sports chaplain or character coach feeling quite isolated, forgotten, or marginalized. Don't despair. Don't quit. Don't give up, ever. Persistence will keep the effective sports chaplain showing up at practice. It will prompt the character coach's heart to stay engaged, to ask good questions, to invite people to get coffee and a chat. 

Humility, Patience, Self-awareness, Perspective, Curiosity, and Persistence will serve the Character Coach very well. They will empower the Sports Chaplain for effectiveness and significance in his or her ministry.

Serving a Team in a Very Successful Season

The eleventh season of my service of a college football team was one I will never forget. It was the fourth season with that particular coaching staff, having been 1 and 10, 2 and 10, and 4 and 8 in the previous seasons. Suddenly in mid-November we were 10 and 0, nationally ranked, and surely headed to the NCAA Division I-AA playoffs for the first time in twenty-one years.

 

After an exciting, last second, loss on the road, I was in my seat on the bus waiting to go to the airport for the flight home. I sat there stunned, not knowing how to process all this. The head coach looked across the aisle at me and said, “Hey, are you okay?” I said, “Coach, I had forgotten what it feels like to lose.” Ten weeks of winning had erased my memory of years of painful loss. Success has the power to do that.

 

Winning teams feel like they’re invincible.

·      They tell themselves, “We win even when we don’t play well.”

·      They think “We must be really good.”

·      They marvel at themselves, “We win even when our best players are not at 100%!”

·      Momentum is a real and wonderful for these teams.

 

Winning teams are vulnerable to debilitating hubris.

·      They find themselves full of entitlement to privilege and position.

·      They take on elitist attitudes toward others, obviously lesser than they.

·      Their sudden elevation to celebrity serves them poorly.

·      Their locker room can easily become stratified, separating the stars from the role players.

·      They are perfectly positioned for a humiliating defeat. (The Football Salukis, nursing our wounds from the end of our winning streak, played the University of Delaware in the first round of the playoffs. We were crushed 48-7. Ouch.)

 

We, the Character Coaches, maintain perspective.

·      We love extravagantly. Our loyalty is valued, even when wildly successful. We seek out those not in the spotlight, the walk on player, the support staff, and others.

·      We serve selflessly. Our consistency in service is noticed when the prevailing culture becomes entitlement and privilege.

·      We encourage. In winning streaks, encouragement by asking good questions makes a difference. Ask about matters away from sport – family, class, relationships, teammates, and faith.

 

This season of success will not last forever, though we wish it would. Maintain perspective. Help them see over, through, and beyond the present swell of awesomeness. Success is secondary to who they are as men and women.

Growth and Development follow Failure and Frustration

While recently reflecting upon my life’s path across sixty-eight years, I realized most of my growth and development, personal and professional, came as a result of failure and frustration. A few examples follow.

 

After being laid off from my job as a laborer in a lumber yard at age twenty-four, I found a job in a home center and after four more years, a job with a wholesale building materials distributor, then another retailer, followed by two more sales jobs. Being laid off from a job with a hard ceiling led to new employment with room to grow.

 

After one year of absolute, total failure in selling garages, I was in position to take a paid role as an administrative assistant to my mentor in ministry (Fred Bishop of No Greater Love Ministries). It took all of that year of horrible failure and financial stress to have my wife and me ready to take a very modest salary. My ambitious nature was energized by the commission sales job, but it’s a stressful existence for the whole family when sales are not good.

 

After four years of accelerated growth and development in ministry, the ministry’s funds were diminishing to a level that would soon lead to my departure. At the same time, an opportunity to serve with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) was emerging. At thirty-eight years of age, I was finally prepared to enter the calling I had perceived when I was just sixteen. This new opportunity launched me into twenty-seven years of service with FCA, including many challenges, significant growth, and development in a myriad of ways.

 

In 2021, having discovered the centrality of sports chaplaincy to my passion for ministry in sport, my wide list of responsibilities with FCA became a source of frustration. The form of ministry to which I was most committed and in which I experienced the greatest fruit was on the edges of my ministry, it was not central. Having lived in this tension for several years, I was most intrigued when leaders from Nations of Coaches contacted me regarding their Character Coach Director role. I was interested, then attentive, then engaged, and ultimately hired just days before my sixty-fifth birthday.

 

Now, three years into this new role, I am experiencing more fulfillment, joy, and satisfaction than ever. I cannot see the end of this path, but I am quite sure the next bends in the road will be preceded by either failure of frustration, and possibly both. I am equally confident an even better season of growth and development will follow, and will be entirely worth every moment of the process.

 

In summary: failure and frustration are never pleasant; neither are they permanent. One must allow the Lord room to move in the pain and doubt to confirm his calling, and to direct your steps forward into continuing growth and development.