Layers of Identity Shape the Lives of Sports-people.
This is my friend, Wendy Goodman. She’s 6’-2” (1.88 meters) of beautiful young lady, daughter, sister, friend, teammate, wife, mother of three, and teaches second grade. She was also #44 for Saluki Women’s Basketball. A few weeks after the end of her playing career, she called me asking, “Rog, what do normal people do with all this time?” She had encountered the sense of lost identity that most sports-people experience at the end of their sporting career. After going to the gym for practice most every day since she was 12, suddenly she had no more practice, no more games, no more team or teammates or coaches. She suddenly used to be a basketball player.
Wendy is also a highly committed Christian. Her identity in Christ Jesus was well formed at this point and she had a strong assurance of her being in Christ. She still felt the sting of having lost a part of her identity in retiring from competitive sport.
Many of us in the Church and in sports ministry would chide Wendy for her sense of loss and see it as an indicator of spiritual immaturity or even sin. Thankfully no one said such a thing to her, simply because she didn’t trust them to even have the conversation. She confided in me because of the trust I had won across four years of life in basketball practices, game days, Bible studies, personal conversations, and pregame chapels.
People are complex creatures and always have been. The people of sport are certainly no exception and their lives in sport intensify their most obvious, least enduring, and most precarious sense of identity.
Too often the church and sports ministry leaders have been dismissive of the value of a strong identity in sport. We err by simplifying the discussion to an either/or proposition. One’s identity is in sport and performance or it’s in Christ. I would like to have you see the value of understanding the various layers of identity shaping the lives of sports-people.
Let’s look at three such layers of identity and their respective strengths and weaknesses.
This is certainly not an exhaustive list. It is primarily informed by my own experience and twenty-eight years of observation and interactions with the people of sport.
Each of these layers of identity have direct and profound effects upon how we see ourselves. They inform who we are and where we fit in our world.
They are not exclusive of each other and are more like facets of a diamond than drawers in a filing cabinet. See them as elements of a whole person rather than compartmentalized, separate functions.
These layers vary widely in basis, permanence, and security.
These three will be our focus:
· Identity in Sport.
· Identity in Relationships.
· Identity in Christ Jesus.
One’s identity in sport is characterized by these factors:
· It’s transactional. (Life is a quid pro quo, always.) The player may love the sport, but will it love him or her back?
· It’s defined by your activity. (Sport) “I am a basketball player. I am a coach. I am a footballer.”
· It’s based on your performance. (Good or bad) This is intensified by strong achievement, and it is greatly diminished by failure. How are you? “We’re 14 and 2.”
· It is the least enduring layer of identity. (One day, everyone used to be a player, coach, etc.) One’s career in sport may be measured in decades, caps, seasons, games, or even minutes.
Theologian Henri Nouwen said most of us believe one or all of these lies:
1) I am what I have.
2) I am what I do.
3) I am what other people say or think of me.
4) I am nothing more than my worst moment.
5) I am nothing less than my best moment.
Sports-people live in an environment that shouts this set of values every day.
People have always defined themselves by their occupations. Think about the surnames in Western cultures: Mrs. Butcher. Mr. Baker, Mrs. Smith, Miss Cook, Mr. Farmer, etc. People regularly identify themselves by their roles in society, “I am a teacher, doctor, coach, athlete.”
What must not be lost in this conversation is this. A strong sense of identity in sport is part and parcel of how these people achieve so highly. Without it, they never arrive at these places of prominence and achievement. To dismiss it as unimportant is foolish, disrespectful, and diminishes one’s relationship with sports-people.
One’s identity in relationships is characterized by these factors:
· It’s dynamic. (It’s constantly changing and progressive. Son, brother, husband, father, grandparent…)
· It’s defined by others. (Who’s he/she? He/she’s my son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, teammate, boyfriend, spouse, parent, coach, grandfather, etc.…)
· It’s based in those relationships. (The relationships prescribe roles and responsibilities for us.)
· It’s moderately enduring. (The changing nature of relationships can make it a little unstable, but it’s less capricious than identity in sport.)
We who have a strong sense of our identity based in relationships find great security and stability, if those with whom we have such relationships are secure and stable. Those of us who have such relationship-based identities whose friend and family members are less stable find ourselves in a life of constant chaos and drama.
This layer of identity based in relationships has its strengths, but it is also fraught with problems if our friends and family are of the high maintenance variety.
One’s identity in Christ Jesus is characterized by factors such as these:
· It’s transformational. Romans 12:1-2 describes it this way, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
· It’s defined by God. Ephesians 2:10 makes one simple statement of a Christian’s identity this way, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
· It’s faith based. We experience our identity in Christ through faith, active trust in Him, as expressed in Galatians 2:20. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
· It’s most enduring. My identity in Christ is not dependent upon my performance, my relationships with others, or anything else. It cannot be damaged, dented, or diminished. It is secure and enduring as described in Colossians chapter 3, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
A growing relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and a strong sense of who he or she is in Christ, gives the sports-person a tremendous advantage in the daily battle of dealing with the more precarious and short-lived sense of identity they find in their sporing experiences.
This eternal, secure, and heart-borne identity provides the buoyancy needed for navigating the turbulent seas of a career in the demanding and transactional world of sport.
In summary, all these facets of one’s identity are active and powerfully influential in the daily lives of sports-people. They vary widely in their bases and permanence.
It is unhelpful to simply dismiss any of them as invalid or unimportant. How shall we approach such disparity and serve the sporting community with wisdom?
Please consider these as two strategies for dealing with the various layers of identity affecting the lives of sports-people.
1. Understand and embrace each one. Be thankful for how your strong identity in sport has enabled you to achieve. Embrace it as an important factor in making you who you are. Do the same for the wide array of relationships which also provide you with a sense of identity. Embrace your role as “fill in the blank relationship.” Be thankful for these relationships. Be thankful for, embrace, and develop your identity in Christ. There is no downside to this facet of your identity.
2. Grasp each one’s unique characteristics. Each of these is much different in its basis, its function, its permanence. Don’t expect sport to love you as your mother does. Don’t expect God to treat you like your distant and disapproving father. Don’t expect your family to reward you for achievement and performance as sports fans do.
Grasp each layer as its own, understand its strengths and weaknesses, and rest in the ultimate identity – you are eternally and securely in Christ Jesus.
