Sometimes
we walk through grief. In the last six months I have buried family members,
colleagues, friends, ministry partners, coaches, and more. Grief upon grief
upon grief. At the same time, I have also shared the grief experienced by
others. Coaching friends, sports ministry colleagues, and others have suffered
loss and I feel their loss in a second-hand manner. It still hurts. It’s still
heavy. It’s still painful.
Isaiah
53 refers to the Messiah as, “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” In some
ways, we share the ministry of the Christ when we walk into the grief of loss,
when we share the mourning of our friends, when we follow Jesus’ way of weeping
at Lazarus’ grave.
Author
George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying, “Death is the ultimate statistic, one
out of one dies.” The only way to avoid walking through grief is to become a
hermit, to cut off all relationships, and to care for no one. That is obviously
not healthy, and is certainly not the Lord’s will. It is an unavoidable
condition of life, thus we must learn to deal well with it.
When
you step into the murky waters of grief, take the risk to feel the weight of
it. Don’t try to stoically stay above it all, feel the emotions deeply. Look
people in the eye and speak softly to their hearts. There are no magic words,
and you cannot fix this. This is a situation through which to walk, not a
problem to be solved. Let your posture, your embrace, your hand on a shoulder,
your clear-eyed, face to face empathy speak for you. Share the burden of grief
with your friends. They’re worth it.
Sometimes
we walk through grief. I always feel terribly inadequate as I approach these
moments. That’s really good as in this inadequacy I experience the truth of II
Corinthians 12:9 - “My
grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will
rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may
dwell in me.
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