“What the heart loves, the will chooses and the mind justifies.”

Part 5 – Abuse of Players

“This makes him tougher.” “We’re breaking his will to then build him back up.” “This is really good for her.” “She needs this discipline to rid her of foolishness.” “We’re a winning program, but he’s a loser.” “You don’t deserve to win.” You’re not worthy of wearing this uniform.” “This team is for winners. You’re a loser.” Such language is used by some coaches and even fans to rationalize their abuse of the competitors with their programs. The mind justifies.

Many of us who have had abusive coaches know the pain of playing for them. Occasionally abusive coaches and their tactics appear in the media. Some of their attempts to toughen, to discipline, to motivate and more take these forms:
· Running them until they vomit, dehydrate and even convulse.
· Locking a player in an electrical closet for hours (from this past fall in the USA).
· Depriving them of sleep.
· Withholding food or water.
· Forcing a wrestler, swimmer or gymnast to use supplements to lose weight.
· Using verbal abuse, shame and emotional manipulation as motivation to prod the player to higher performance.
· Twisting the powerful coach/player relationship for sexual purposes.
The will chooses.

Lying just under the surface of such abuse is the heart which loves control. The controlling heart will use any means to get the results for which it lusts. A heart which loves control will reject all the Spirit’s prompting toward compassion or mercy in favor of its own power to determine the results and the process which fulfill its desires. The heart loves.

A Biblical example of the controlling heart is found in 2 Samuel chapter 11 and verses 10-15. 10 When David was told, "Uriah did not go home," he asked him, "Haven't you just come from a distance? Why didn't you go home?"
11 Uriah said to David, "The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!"
12 Then David said to him, "Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back." So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At David's invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master's servants; he did not go home.
14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die."

David tried to manipulate Uriah to cover for his own adultery. That didn’t work as Uriah demonstrated incredible loyalty to his teammates at the battle front. David took another shot at covering his sin by getting Uriah drunk and sending him home to sleep with his wife, but he slept outside. Ultimately, David’s attempts fell flat and he resorted to sending Uriah, one of his 30 Mighty Men, to the front where was to be withdrawn from so he could be killed. David’s attempts to control, to cover up his sin, to manipulate his subject and teammate, ultimately led to Uriah’s death.
Many coaches work under a model which sees their relationships with players as Employer/Employee, Supervisor/Worker or even Master/Slave (though most would never admit to that, the attitude is evident in how they coach). Many value control of the sport process and even the results as their highest priority, thus their hearts will do whatever it takes to maintain their dominance.

I would like to challenge coaches who claim a relationship with Christ to change the paradigm. Let’s adopt a Shepherd/Flock relationship among Coaches and Players. Let’s view the competitors in our charge as Peter viewed his church in I Peter 5:1-4. 1To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: 2Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; 3not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Rather than seeking control and manipulating those under our care, let’s serve as overseers, willingly, not greedy, but eager to serve. Not by lording it over those entrusted to us, but by being examples to our flock. We can trust the Chief Shepherd to reward us appropriately, regardless of final scores or season records.

“What the heart loves, the will chooses and the mind justifies.” This statement was spoken by my friend and colleague in sports chaplaincy, John Ashley Null, in summary of the 16th century Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Cranmer's writings. Dr. Null has been translating Cranmer’s work from Medieval Latin shorthand into contemporary English.